A mangy looking guy goes into a restaurant and orders food. The waiter says, “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.”

The guy says, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me the food?”

“Deal!” replies the waiter.

The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the counter and it runs to the end, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard, and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.

The waiter says, “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano.”

The guy downs the hamburger he ordered and asks the waiter for another. “Money or another miracle,” says the waiter.

The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the counter, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the counter runs over to the guy and offers him $500 for the frog. The guy says, “It’s a deal.” He takes the money and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the restaurant.

The waiter says to the guy, “Are you crazy? You sold a singing frog for $500? It must have been worth millions.”

“Not really”, says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist.” (from Mikey’s Funnies)

-PreachingNow Vol. 3:19

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A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI.
“Well,” says the personnel director, “You’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute.”
Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.
“Also,” says the director, “You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course.”
This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.
“There’s one last requirement,” the director continues; “you must be bilingual.”
With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, “Meow!”

(from the Humor Haus newsletter)

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