This report from London. Janine Brooks was a dental student when a man ran into her car and drove away. That was 10 years ago. Her damaged car resulted in a considerable financial burden on her student income but the man motorist neither apologized nor ever paid for the damage he had done until now. Now it is 10 years later. Now Janine Brooks, the former student, is a dentist and guess who came to her office needing a tooth to be pulled. He did not recognize her; she did recognize him. She told him it wouldn’t hurt; she lied.

-Associated Press 4/9/90

 

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Little Johnny was
in the garden filling in a large hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What’cha
doing, Johnny?”

“My goldfish
died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. “I’ve just buried
him.”

The neighbor was
concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”

Johnny patted down
the last heap of earth, then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your
dumb cat.”

______________________

From PreachingNow,
April 20, 2004

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A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a “Dear John” letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky

The Marine asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins, etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope, along with this note.

Dear Becky,

I’m sorry, but I can’t quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile and send the rest back to me.

Love, Ricky

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A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman
kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might
be a second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy
to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him
so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the
ultra sticky kind. Written in large black letters was the sentence, “Get
well soon! Luv, from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week!”

 – from Pastor
Tim’s CleanLaugh List
– http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

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Sunk by Own Attack

During World War II the U.S. submarine Tang surfaced under the cover of darkness to fire upon a large Japanese convoy off the coast of China. Since previous raids had left the American vessel with only eight torpedoes, the accuracy of every shot was absolutely essential. The first seven missiles were right on target; but when the eighth was launched, it suddenly deviated and headed right back at their own ship. The emergency alarm to submerge rang out, but it was too late. Within a matter of seconds the U.S. sub received a direct hit and sank almost instantly.

In much the same way we can destroy ourselves by hostility toward others. The effects of holding a grudge are very serious. Modern medicine has shown that emotions like bitterness and anger can cause problems such as headaches backaches, allergic disorders, ulcers, high blood pressure, and heart attacks, to name just a few. When we do not love our enemies but strike back at them, we are usurping God’s prerogative to mete out justice. We read in the Bible, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord!” By seeking revenge, we really inflict great harm on ourselves.

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