An optimist sees
the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds
the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in
the positive.

For example, as
a duck hunter, I was in the market for a new bird dog a few years ago. My search
finally ended when I found a dog that could not only retrieve, but could actually
walk on water! Shocked by my find, I was both skeptical that the dog would be
able to keep this up after I purchased it (you know, maybe the salesman was
somehow playing a cruel trick on me), and also that any of my friends would
ever believe me.

I decided to try
to break the news to one friend at a time starting with a long-time buddy who
was also a hunter. He was a pessimist by nature, but invited him to hunt with
me and my new dog.

As we waited, carefully
concealed by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. We fired, and ducks fell at
a distance. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did
not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the birds, never getting
more than his paws wet. This continued all day long–each time a duck fell,
the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.

My pessimist buddy
watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word about it the
entire day.

On the drive home
the silence was suddenly broken when my friend said, “Too bad about your
dog.”

A little surprised
at his statement, I asked, “What do you mean?”

“I mean,”
drawled the pessimist slowly, “it’s too bad ya got stuck with one that
can’t swim.”

 – from Mikey’s Funnies


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