Murphy’s Laws of Parenting

1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.
2. Leakproof thermoses – will.
3. The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape-jelly side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
4. The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when your teen remembers it’s his turn to take out the trash
5. The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be washed or mended.
6. Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster rate than other clothing.
7. The item your child lost, and must have for school within the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you think to look.
8. Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the treatment room.
9. Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the back of the refrigerator.
10. Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.

(Nelson’s Complete Book of Stories by Robert J. Morgan, Illustrations, & Quotes, p. 599).

-Preaching September/October 2002


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Someone
once advised mothers that if they have a lot of tension and get
headaches, to do exactly what it says on an aspirin bottle: “Take two
aspirin,” and “Keep away from children.”

_______________
J. Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati, OH.


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News
reports recently told the story of a nine-year-old San Diego boy who took over
at the wheel of his family car and got caught driving it.  In some ways, however,
the boy was a hero.  He took the wheel because his father was too drunk to drive. 
The boy’s courage was amazing, but also amazing is the irresponsibility of a
parent who could let this happen.

_______________

J.
Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati,
OH.


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Murphy’s Laws of Parenting
1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.
2. Leakproof thermoses — will leak.
3. The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape-jelly side down are
directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
4. The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when your teen remembers
it’s his turn to take out the trash
5. The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be
washed or mended.
6. Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster rate than other
clothing.
7. The item your child lost, and must have for school within the next ten
seconds, will be found in the last place you think to look.
8. Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the
treatment room.
9. Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the back of the
refrigerator.
10. Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically increase if you
drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.

____________________________
(Nelson’s Complete Book of
Stories by Robert J. Morgan, Illustrations, & Quotes, p. 599).


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Mark Tonra’s “James” in the comic strip asked his mother, “How’d
you learn to be a Mom?” She replied, “I didn’t.” Not satisfied,
James said, “Seriously.” His mother said, “Seriously, I’m just
winging it.” James walked away saying, “Not what you want to hear.”

The fact is that there are no perfect parents. While dedicated parents don’t
really “wing it”, they do make mistakes and sometimes fail. All the
parenting books and seminars in the world won’t change that.

___________________________

Illustration by J. Michael Shannon, Professor of Preaching, Cincinnati Bible
College & Seminary, Cincinnati, OH.


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