At a flower shop in rural West Virginia, Campbell’s Creek, an isolated mining hollow, the owner is a chap named Bill Grayolis, 41. A while back Mr. Grayolis lost weight and whispers started around town that he had AIDS. And then there were some graffiti and there were threats, he was labeled a queer, a carrier of AIDS. Customers that he had known for 20 years stopped coming to his store. One long time woman customer drove up and stopped and threw her check inside the flower shop but then she returned hastily to her car and drove away. Well, that did it. Mr. Grayolis gave up the diet with which he’d purposely been losing weight. He got himself blood-tested for AIDS and proved that he does not have the virus. He posted the medical report on the window of his shop, but the whispers persist. West Virginia Attorney General says shame on the cruel people of Campbell’s Creek, but still the whispers persist. Now his delivery van has been trashed, his windows have been smashed, his business is depleted. Bill Grayolis does not have AIDS, but he is being destroyed by contagious ignorance.

-Sermons Illustrated July/August 1990

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A woman gets pulled
over by a police officer and….

Woman: “Is
there a problem, Officer?”
Officer: “Ma’am, you were speeding.”
Woman: “Oh, I see.”
Officer: “Can I see your license please?”
Woman: “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”
Officer: “Don’t have one?”
Woman: “Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.”
Officer: “I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.”
Woman: “I can’t do that.”
Officer: “Why not?”
Woman: “I stole this car.”
Officer: “Stole it?”
Woman: “Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.”
Officer: “You what?”
Woman: “His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to

The officer looks
at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for
back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: “Ma’am,
could you step out of your vehicle please!”

The woman steps
out of her vehicle.

Woman: “Is
there a problem, sir?”
Officer 2: “One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.”
Woman: “Murdered the owner?”
Officer 2: “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. “

The woman opens
the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: “Is
this your car, ma’am?”
Woman: “Yes, here are the registration papers.”

The officer is
quite stunned.

Officer 2: “One
of my officers claims that you do not have a driver’s license.”

The woman digs
into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the
officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He
looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: “Thank
you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the

Woman: “Bet
you the lying son of a gun told you I was speeding too.”

 – from Mikey’s

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Internal Revenue Service auditor, to nervous citizen: “Let’s begin with where you claim depreciation on your wife.” —Quotable Quotations

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