It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted, and the local baker was just about to close up shop when a little man slipped through the door. He carried an umbrella, blown inside out; and he was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. Even so, he still looked wet and bedraggled.

As he unwound his scarf, he said to the baker, “May I have two bagels to go, please?”

The baker said in astonishment, “Two bagels? Nothing more?”

“That’s right,” answered the little man. “One for me and one for Bernice.”

“Bernice is your wife?” asked the baker.

“What do you think?” snapped the little man. “My mother would never send me out on a night like this!”


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Some years ago, there was a cartoon that pictured a psychologist talking to a mother. He said to her, “Let’s see, you spend 50 percent of your energy on your job, 50 percent of your energy on your children and 50 percent of your energy on your husband. I think I see your problem.”


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One child said to another, “I’m really worried. My mom works all day, comes home to make us supper, then she cleans the house and washes the clothes.” Her friend said, “What are you worried about? Sounds to me like you have it made.” Her friend said, “What if she tries to escape?”


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