On here 80th birthday, a woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her last will and testament. She went to her rabbi to make two final requests. First, she insisted on cremation.

“What is your second request?” the rabbi asked.
“I want my ashes scattered over Bloomingdale’s.”
“Why Bloomingdale’s?”
“Then I’ll be sure that my daughters visit me twice a week.”

-The Big Book of Jewish Humor, edited by William Novak and Moshe Waldoks


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