The reasons why
I’m giving up sports: football in the fall, baseball in the summer, basketball
in the winter. I’ve had it all. I quit attending sports once and for all, and
here are my 11 excuses:

1. Every time I
went, they asked for money.
2. The people I sat next to didn’t seem friendly.
3. The seats were too hard and not comfortable at all.
4. I went to many games but the coach never came to call on me.
5. The referees made decisions that I couldn’t agree with.
6. The game went into overtime and I was late getting home.
7. The band played umbers I’d never heard before and it wasn’t my style of music.
8. It seems the games are always scheduled when I want to do other things.
9. I suspect that I was sitting next to some hypocrites. They came to see their
friends and they talked during the whole game.
10. I was taken to too many games by my parents when I was growing up.
11. I hate to wait in the traffic jam in the parking lot after the game.

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Sermons Illustrated

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About The Author

Do you have a problem
with attendance? It is the matter of getting people to show up at the services.
How is this for a positive? There are 22,000,000 persons who show up each day
at McDonalds. They never give up on giving you a reason for being at their place.
Probably the most clever and innovative advertising in the secular world is
found at McDonalds. Their promotions are creative.

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About The Author

A
Lutheran pastor in Stockholm, Sweden is so concerned to produce
church growth he’s placed a help-wanted ad in newspapers advertising
for church attenders. The minister, Bjoern Frennesson, can’t offer a
salary but he does offer church-goers “good communion,” along with
free cab rides for anyone who doesn’t have a car. The church used to
welcome 20 to 40 people, but now averages about 100.

_______________

J. Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati, OH.

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Heads or Tails

You heard about the golfer named Jones who was twenty minutes late at the first tee on Sunday morning and the other three members of the regular foursome were almost ready to drive off without him. “I agreed with my wife,” explained Jones, “that this Sunday I’d toss a coin to see whether I played golf or went to church. Heads, I played golf. Tails, I went to church. And you know, fellows, I had to toss that coin forty-three times before it came up heads.”

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