Getting Older Is Tough, But It Beats The Alternative Michael Duduit September 1, 2004 A couple of weeks ago I flipped the page on the calendar and left my 40’s forever. Someone once told me that any birthday that ends in a “0” is traumatic. Personally, I didn’t have any problem with 10 or 20, and 30 didn’t really bother me, either. In fact, 40 was less traumatic than 45. Assuming that the odds are against me living past 90, at 45 it really did feel like I was now living in the second half of my life. But August 18 is when I hit the big 5-0. Half way to Willard Scott territory. The day I officially qualified for AARP membership. (Yes, they’ve reduced the age to 50 now.) As soon as my membership card arrives, I’m heading to McDonald’s for free coffee; I don’t actually drink coffee, but there’s the principle of the thing. I just wonder if you’re allowed to claim an AARP discount when you bring along your 4 and 8-year-old sons for happy meals. Of course, not everyone understands such things. I recently took my four-year-old for lunch. As we were preparing to leave, the waitress said, “It’s so nice you could take your grandson out today.” I responded, “Yes. And by the way, his dad will be along soon with the money for the tip.” It’s interesting to be 50 and have two young sons. I don’t know whether they’ll keep me young or kill me. (They haven’t decided yet.) Just the other day I told James, our eldest, that his dad might be 50 but he had the body of a 25-year-old. My son responded, “You’d better return it. You’re stretching it out and getting it wrinkled.” Then again, it could be worse. (And probably will be eventually.) At some point I could be in a similar situation to the elderly man who was driving down the street when his wife noticed that they had just driven through a red light without stopping. Assuming that it was just an oversight, she relaxed until they went through the next red light without stopping. The wife began to be concerned. As she was struggling with this they went through another red light without stopping. That did it! She turned to the driver and said, “Bob, do you realize you have been going through red lights without stopping? To which Bob replied, “Oh, am I driving?” In anticipation of better things, however, here’s my favorite aging story: There was an old couple – each was 85 years old and they had been married for 60 years. They were both in extremely good health due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies carefully. In honor of their 60th anniversary, though, they decided to splurge and take a to Hawaii. On the way to the Islands, however, their plane crashed, sending them to heaven. They reached the Pearly Gates and St. Peter escorted them inside. They gasped in amazement as St. Peter led into a beautiful mansion filled with the finest furnishings. He said, “Welcome to Heaven. This will be your new home.” The husband asked “Why?” St. Peter said, “This is your reward in Heaven.” The old man then saw a beautiful golf course complete with club house and spa. The club house had the most wonderful buffet lunch spread out. St. Peter told the man all this was theirs to enjoy at no cost. After all, this was Heaven! The old man wanted to know where the health food was. St Peter told him that because this was Heaven you could eat what ever you wanted and never get fat. You never had to exercise or be careful of blood pressure. The old man then looked at his wife and said, “If it hadn’t been for you and your bran muffins, we could have been here 10 years ago!” ___________________________ Michael Duduit is Editor of Preaching magazine and President of American Ministry Resources. You can write to him at email@example.com, or visit his website at www.michaelduduit.com. Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.