10. Hey, now there's a gift!

9. Well, well, well…

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit.

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

6. I sure hope this never catches fire! It is fire season, though. There are lots of unexplained fires.

5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4. I love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

2. To think…I vowed to give all the gifts I got this year to charity.

1. I really don't deserve this. (from Mikey’s Funnies)

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