You need a new car when . . .
– You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.
– You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.
– You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.
– The Blue Book lists your car under “Health Risk.”
– The only thing holding your bumper on is the “Dukakis/Bentsen ’88” sticker.
– You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.
– The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.
– The guys at the repair shop refer you to Dr. Kevorkian. (from Cybersalt Digest)