* People wonder about when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
* People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.
* The preacher says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” and five guys stand up.
* Opening day of hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday.
* A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because: “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of!”
* Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.
* The choir group is known as the “O.K. Chorale.”
* Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
* There is no such thing as a secret sin.
* Baptism is referred to as branding.
* There’s a special fundraiser for a new septic tank.
* Finding and returning lost sheep isn’t just a parable.
* High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.
* The final words of the benediction are, “Ya’ll come back now, ya hear.”
(from Mikey’s Funnies)