Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $2,000. Tux rental $200.
The occasional burp is practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, for all seasons.
You can do Christmas shopping on Dec. 24 in 25 minutes.

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