Martha Stewart doesn’t live here!
Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!
I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.
I would cook dinner, but I can’t find the can opener!
My house was clean last week; too bad you missed it!
I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
If you don’t like my standards of cooking, lower your standards.
A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!
Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
(from Pastor Tim’s CleanLaugh List)