When it comes time to travel, you have plenty of choices. Even after all the airlines that have gone out of business-and I was shrewd enough to buy stock in several of them, thank you very much-there is still an ample selection of airlines available to send your luggage on to Chicago as you are arriving in Atlanta. You can sample filet of peanut on AirTran, American, Continental, Delta, JetBlue, Northwest, Southwest, United, and a new one or two every year.
Still, it’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference between airlines. Wouldn’t it be helpful if airlines were more like churches, each with its own distinctive characteristics?
Catholic Airlines-In the event of a problem, your overhead compartment will open and rosary beads will drop down.
Baptist Airlines-We don’t serve alcohol, but we have a great “dinner on the concourse.” Just bring along a covered dish with your e-ticket.
Pentecostal Airlines-The flight attendant will present the safety information in an unknown tongue, requiring another flight attendant to interpret.
Seventh-Day Adventist Airlines-We only fly on Saturday.
Christian Church Airlines-We fly planes the way they used to fly planes!
Presbyterian Airlines-All worshipers shall remain in an upright and locked position.
Episcopal Airlines-We will take off as soon as we decide who owns the planes.
Evangelistic Airlines-If we don’t have a full flight, we go out and get some more!
Calvinist Airlines-When your destination has already been decided.
Arminian Airlines-Even after you’re on board, you can still get bumped from the flight.
Secular Humanist Airlines-We’ve got a plane full of people but no place to go!
Michael Duduit is Editor of Preaching magazine. You can write to him at email@example.com, or visit his website at www.michaelduduit.com.