If it weren’t for stress I’d have no energy at all.

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don’t have any film.

I always know God won’t give me more than I can handle, but there are times I wish He didn’t trust me quite so much.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Some days are a total waste of makeup.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

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