It’s not just church bulletins that contain those pesky typos. Here are some bloopers that appeared in the classified ads of local newspapers:

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For Sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Dog for Sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Our experienced mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere else again.

Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Mother’s helper: peasant working conditions.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore: unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience

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