It’s the beginning of a new year, and for most people that means creating a series of resolutions about things they will attempt to do in the coming year: losing weight, reading the Bible more and so on. There’s a reason health clubs make as much as 30 to 50 percent or more of their annual income on contracts written in January; that’s when we are firmly convinced this year we will do better.
I’ve made my share of resolutions. In fact, if I’d lost all the weight I resolved to lose all those Januarys gone by, I’d make a supermodel look chubby. So this year, I thought I’d try something different: reverse resolutions.
A reverse resolution is a commitment not to do something. For instance, instead of resolving to lose 25 pounds this year, I could resolve not to eat a 16-ounce ribeye every Friday night. That kind of reverse resolution is one I could definitely keep and would be beneficial to my bank account, as well.
So here are some of my reverse resolutions for 2013:
• I resolve not to spend any significant amount of time worrying about or preparing for a zombie apocalypse, though this is certain to disappoint my 16-year-old son and anyone else who enjoys watching “Doomsday Preppers,” “The Walking Dead” or similar shows.
• I resolve not to give any contributions to any politicians this year. It only encourages them.
• I resolve not to watch Honey Boo Boo or any of her relatives on TV.
• I resolve not to wear skinny jeans (as if that were possible).
• I resolve not to suggest we sing worship choruses that were really popular when I was a teenager (as if I could remember that far back).
• I resolve not to launch a multi-site church campus in Alaska. I’ll leave that to Driscoll, Keller and the boys.
• I resolve not to write a best-selling book that causes millions of dollars to flow into my bank account. That might damage my humility, which I’ve always thought was one of my best qualities.
Feel free to pass along any other reverse resolutions you think I should adopt. Of course, if they are too hard, I may resolve not to read your emails any more.