Stop Fuming, Start Forgiving!

• Fifth, with God's help, make a conscious decision to forgive.

• Sixth, ask daily for God to give you the power to forgive. If you have been abused, it may take months, even years for God to drain off all your resentment.

• Seventh, as God releases you from the prison of resentment, ask Him if He wants you to notify your former enemy that he has been forgiven. Sometimes this is helpful, but sometimes it is not. God will help you discern.

 

This message has worldwide implications, particularly relating to our war on terrorism. We must stop the terrorists, but we must not hate them. Indeed, we must be willing to practice and model forgiveness if this world is to experience reconciliation.

Consider what has happened in South Africa. After decades of apartheid and racial hatred, the structures of bigotry were dismantled. A Truth and Reconciliation Commission was set up under the leadership of Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu. If a person came before the commission and confessed his or her sins, he or she was forgiven. Miraculously, the nation has been able to cleanse itself of revenge. Archbishop Tutu has written a book titled No Future without Forgiveness. He claims forgiveness will work all over the world, even in the Middle East. Indeed, I doubt there is any way on earth that Israelis and Palestinians can live in the same area unless they learn the Christian doctrine of forgiveness.

Let me close with a true story that touched my heart. It comes from the book by Marlo Thomas titled The Right Words at the Right Time. The author Amy Tan recalls the awful power struggles she had with her mother when she was a teenager. Her mother criticized her excessively, often humiliating her in front of others, refusing to listen to her side of things. Amy recalls shouting at her mother, "I hate you. I wish you were dead."

Fast-forward 30 years when Amy was 46. For the previous three years, her mother suffered from Alzheimer's. One day when Amy visited her, she said, "Amy, something is wrong with my mind. I feel like I can't remember many things, even what I did yesterday. I can't remember what happened a long time ago, but somehow I know I did something to hurt you."

Amy started to say, "Oh, not really; don't worry," but her mother continued, "I did terrible things, but now I can't remember what…and I just want to tell you…I hope you can forget just as I've forgotten." Instantly Amy recognized this was her mother's plea for forgiveness.

After Amy left, she cried—happy and sad tears. Something in her chest that had been pent up for a long time was gone. Her mother died six months later, but she left a wonderful memory. Together, they knew in their hearts the glory of forgiving and forgetting. So may it be for us.

If God would name the person we should forgive first, who would it be? Once you discern that name, then for God's sake and your own, stop fuming and start forgiving!

 

NOTES:

(1)  From an article titled "Freedom for the Angry Heart, and a More Productive Life," by Marshal King, printed in The Seattle Times, July 30, 2006, p. 2

(2)  Thomas, Marlo, The Right Words at the Right Time, (Atria: New York, 2002), pp. 239-241.