Parenting: Learning to Bless Our Children

It's not good for children to be worshiped. It's not good for children if the only interest their parents have is those children. It gives them too much power, and sometimes makes them feel unloved. When given a choice, a child will choose between what we are rather than what we say. If they see us as phony, they buy the life rather than the words. They are blessed by the consistency and the involvement in our lives.

IV. They are blessed as we introduce them to God.

I hear there are two things we ought not to force on our children: religion and politics. I always translate that: there are just two things that are not important to me, religion and politics. I realize you cannot choose God for your child, you cannot impose upon a child your faith. It is not an automatic thing. It is not an easy thing. Each generation must decide.

But you can early introduce a child to the biblical faith that this is a God-centered world, not a man-centered world. You can introduce a child to the revelation of himself we have in Jesus Christ. You can introduce a child to the value system that grows out of the Judeo-Christian faith where they learn a basis for right and for wrong. You can create a climate which predisposes a child toward faith.

It doesn't bother me at all to go out and make my garden produce squash rather than weeds and roses rather than thistles. A parent blesses a child by creating a kind of climate in which faith can take place.

V. We bless our children when we let them grow up.

There is such a temptation to keep them children. I remember when we used to have parent dedication day just once a year, when all of the parents who had babies that year would bring their babies. In a little pre-service I would stand with the parents and hold the baby, and sometimes we would have our picture made together. The most common phrase I would hear was, "They are so sweet, I hate to see them grow up." I've always felt that's a way of saying, "Aren't they cute?" I remember one day a mother said to me, "I just don't think I can let this child go, ever." and I kiddingly said to her, "Well, God has a secret weapon. He's going to turn her into a teenager, and you'll be glad when she leaves."

That's not exactly true. It is still hard on parents to have their children grow up; it is such a temptation to keep them children. We are afraid for them. You cannot protect your children from the world. We are afraid sometimes for ourselves, and you cannot stop the process of children growing up. You never stop loving them; you never stop praying for them; you never stop caring for them, but you stop trying to control them, and you bless your children by letting them grow up.

What about you? When did you sense you were a blessed child, if you did? Let me tell you when it came to me. I went through a period when I just didn't know about my Dad. My Dad was not articulate, not good with words. I never remember hearing my father say, "I love you." He was not a secure person. He didn't feel comfortable about how well he did things, although when he learned to do something he could do it over and over again. He was not physically affectionate. I never remember him touching me and putting his arms around me. Lots of you have parents like that.

I went to see him in Idaho. I was grown and already a preacher, already a teacher, and we sat. All he liked to talk about was coon hunting. He had this dog named Ol' Rock, and I heard the Ol' Rock stories over and over again. We couldn't even talk about our relationship.

While he was out milking the cows I got curious about his old suitcase. It was an old metal suitcase with belts around it to keep it from breaking open when he checked it on the Trailway bus. He wouldn't fly. I opened that suitcase up, and it was filled with every clipping that ever had a picture of me or my name in it, every church bulletin that had ever been mailed to him -- everything in that suitcase had my name on it. I looked down into all that clutter and thought, my Dad is very proud of me, and I felt blessed. It doesn't take all that much.

Let me say a word to you who have come to adulthood and don't feel blessed. Your parents may never be able to bless you, but there is a heavenly parent anxious to bless you. You don't have to come, like Jacob to Esau deceiving God, pretending you are someone else. You can come just like you are, inadequate, failure, a sinner, whatever, and God will love you, forgive you, and accept you, and make you His child and bless you. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is how God reaches out and blesses us and makes us His children in Jesus Christ.