By John A. Huffman, Jr.
Recently I received a phone call from a young woman in her thirties who was troubled by her mother's increased drinking.
About the same time, a businessman in his fifties was telling me about a problem he was having with his father. He had succeeded in a business and now his father was becoming extremely critical of his wife and was making intrusive demands on his family life.
And how often these days I spend time counseling men and women of my own generation who are trying to deal with the housing, health and emotional needs of their own aging parents.
There are all kinds of different problems in the parent-child relationship. Difficulties will always be present. Once again, I must underline the basic Christian truth. It is this: As long as you are a human being, subject to sin, living in a world of sinners, relating to parents who are also sinners, there will be problems. In fact, there is something wrong with your life if you have been exempt from child-parent difficulties. They are normal!
Advertisement
However, you are not just a sinner. If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, you have the potential to move beyond bondage to these difficulties. Yours can be a liberating Christian maturity.
The question is: "How do we cope with child-parent trouble?"
Occasionally, a teenager comes to me, expressing great concern about their relationship with their parents. More frequently they share these concerns with our youth ministers, Dave Rockness and Ivan Klassen, or with one of our youth interns.
One 14-year-old told me, "My parents bug me! What can I do about them? They are impossible!" You know something? Inwardly, I had to agree with her, although I couldn't tell her this. I knew her parents. They were impossible. They were bugging her. Her complaint was legitimate. Her perceptions were reliable. What should I say? Agree with her and leave it at that? No! My young friend had missed the fact that she was part of this problem. Not only were her parents giving her difficulty. She was making life impossible for them. She had not learned some basic facts about her mom and dad. It was only when she learned these that she was set free to experience a much more exciting lifestyle. Let's take a look at four biblical reminders for children.
Biblical reminder #1: God created our parents for our benefit.
Can you grasp that fact? Your father and mother, as tough as they are to understand at times, are God's gift to you. You are part of an authority structure that helps you be the person God wants you to be. In this world there is authority. This authority is ordered by God.
The Ten Commandments state: "Honor your father and mother."
The Apostle Paul wrote, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother' — this is the first commandment with a promise: 'so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth'" (Ephesians 6:1-3).
