The Bible is an earthy book. It has a lot to say about domestic ugliness, marital violence, alcoholism, drug addiction, adultery, dishonesty, ambition, exploitation, manipulation, arrogance and pride. These are only a few of the themes spoken to with great specificity and elaborate illustration.
Not only is ideal marriage described, so is divorce. It notes allowances made for divorce under certain extreme circumstances. However, Jesus reinforces God's intention for marriage to be a vehicle that enhances the welfare and happiness of humankind. He notes the painful disruption that comes emotionally, physically and spiritually when that intentionality gets ripped apart by either a marriage lived out in a contentious disharmony or one that ends in divorce.
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My basic thesis for today does not come from a biblical text dealing specifically with marriage. It is actually a word of advice from the Apostle Paul to his young friend, Timothy, who was pastoring the church Paul founded in Ephesus. We looked in detail, a few months ago, at those two letters. Paul noted in his travels through the Jewish, Greek and Roman world that all people have a weird vulnerability to untruth. We humans are easily deceived by quack remedies and vogue ideologies that come and go at a fairly rapid pace. He urges Timothy to concentrate on the truth that has been revealed to him through the Holy Spirit. He writes:
If you put these instructions before the brothers and sisters, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, nourished on the words of the faith and of the sound teaching that you have followed. Have nothing to do with profane myths and old wives' tales. Train yourself in godliness, for, while physical training is of some value, godliness is valuable in every way, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. (1 Timothy 4:6-8)
Ever since that dinner conversation, as I have been reflecting on this whole matter of marital disharmony and divorce, these words have kept throbbing in my heart and mind: "Have nothing to do with profane myths and old wives' tales. Train yourself in godliness . . . "
The whole attitude of the Apostle Paul, as he shares his concerns with Timothy, is one of nurturing, one of caring, one of counsel, one of advice. It was a gentle, humble word. He wants Timothy to process his instructions in a way that will help him deal healthfully with the believers at Ephesus. He wants him to exhort those for whom he bears pastoral responsibility in a gentle, humble, counseling mode. It is not to be an authoritarian expression that puts people down.
How presumptuous it would be of me to stand in the pulpit and pretend personal exemption from the stresses and strains of my own marriage. I dare not bully you into truth. Instead, I must admit that I am a person just as much in process as are you. I must be fed from the Scriptures under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, so as to be able to share with you the discoveries that I am making. What I say to you today, within days of my 65th birthday, hopefully has a depth to it that it would not have had forty years ago, or even twenty years ago. What I do have is a responsibility that is clear and urge you to apply that truth to what may not be as clear.
