What should I think of my wife?
Too often we fall into the trap of allowing our wife's actions to determine what we think of her. We allow her to become less lovely to us when her actions are not lovely. We allow our love to wane when the romance fades and the honeymoon feelings disappear. We allow our thoughts to be shaped in accordance with our changing circumstances. This is not how Christ loves the church.
If we are going to follow His model, we must choose a different way of thinking. We must think of her as Christ does the church. Regardless of the quality of our relationship, Gina is my bride. As members of one flesh, she is in essence my body. And by the joining of two becoming one, she is forever my people.
Once you honestly ponder the person your wife is, I'm certain that you will discover plenty of wonderful traits that you have forgotten to think of. But reach further and higher than that. Think of your wife from a higher position; think of her as Christ thinks of the church: as complete, as made perfect, as chosen by God.
Practically speaking, think of her as perfectly designed by God for your good. As Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage, says, marriage is not necessarily designed for your happiness but for your holiness. This is true of your wife as well. So, let your thoughts be made holy. Think of her as lovely, desirous, and pure. As you do, you will be thinking of her as Christ thinks of the church.What has He become for the church?
Each of us is known by our names and roles. Personally, I am known both as Rob and as Daddy. I am a husband, father, friend, teacher, employee, etc. You could create your own list for your names and roles. Christ, too, has names and roles, each of which reflects a different facet of His being. All of which reflect what He is for the church. Consider some of the better known names and roles of Christ.
- A Strong Tower (Proverbs 18:10)
- Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6)
- Present Help in Times of Trouble (Psalm 46:1)
- The God Who Sees (Genesis 16:13)
- Faithful and True (Revelation 19:11)
- Gracious and Merciful God (Nehemiah 9:31)
Because of who He is and what He has done on our behalf, Christ has become all of these and much, much more for the church. These are not just functions that Jesus performs, they are His character, His very make up. I can run to Christ not because He provides a strong tower, but because He is one. I can trust Him not because He gives wonderful counsel, but because being a Wonderful Counselor is His very character … it's who He is.What should I become for my wife?It is far better to actually be faithful than it is simply to refrain from extra-marital activity. It is far better to be gracious than it is simply to keep your mouth shut. Being is far better than just doing. Jesus does not simply remain committed to His church, He personifies faithfulness. He doesn't just show mercy, He becomes mercy.