Folks, that marriage is going to have horrendous problems. Do you know why it’s going to have problems? Because they both define love in totally different ways. One has experienced one kind of love, and her expectations are based on that definition. The other one defines it entirely differently, and his expectations are negligible. Her expectations are not going to be met, and he is going to be frustrated because he doesn’t know what’s wrong with her.
The problem is we talk about
love and we don’t know what it is! Fortunately, the Scriptures don’t leave it up for grabs. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ
loved the church.”
You say, “Well, that’s not clear enough for me. That’s spiritualizing the whole thing. Tell me what it really means.” “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church,
and gave himself up for her.” There, you have it! Christ loved the church. How do we know He loved the church? He gave Himself up for her. How do we know He gave Himself up for the church? He gave Himself up for the church
on the cross!
The symbol of Christianity is the cross. What is that all about? It is all about the self-sacrifice of Jesus, by which men and women are reconciled to God, and are brought into the experience of redemption and are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. They have the forgiveness of sins, receive the gift of eternal life, and are bound for eternity. They are baptized into the community of faith, become members of the church and know that one day they’ll be part of a Glorious Church around the Throne of God, out of every kindred, tongue, tribe and nation, and
it's all because of the cross.
The Apostle Paul takes that dramatic picture and applies it to husbands. He says, “Husbands, take a good, long, hard look at the love of Christ manifested on the cross, and that’s how you treat your wife – self-sacrificial love.” And guys, that doesn’t come naturally to men; I know, because I am one!
I was in Cape Town, South Africa, where I was preaching to a large crowd. The Saturday at the end of the week, there was going to be a great rugby match between South Africa and Australia. If you don’t understand rugby, and you don’t understand South Africa; you have no idea what I’m talking about! This is big! I mean, the Super Bowl – that’s nothing! This is big, folks! This is the whole southern hemisphere that’s involved in this thing, and the northern hemisphere watching because they’ve got to meet the winners.
I said to the group as I was speaking to them: “How many of you men have got a ticket for the game?” And a forest of arms shot into the air. Oh, were they up for this game! I explained: Let me see if I can illustrate this idea of “husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Let me suggest that you go home this evening and you say to your wife, “I have an idea!”