Who is my nearest neighbor? I guess it’s my wife! So, says the Apostle Paul, “Wives, submit to your husbands; but husbands, love your wives.” Here you’ve got the scissors, and it isn’t going to work in marriage unless you get both working in harmony! For it isn’t two people tying the knot; it is God joining two people together, who then operate on His principles!

Now having said, “It’s all about love” to their husbands, we’ve got to accept the fact that it’s not quite “cut and dry” enough for us, because we have so many different understandings of what love is. Let me illustrate this for you. In our premarital classes with the young couples about to be married, in personal conversation we ask them two questions. Question number one: Were you loved as a child? Whatever the answer is, the second question is: How do you know?

Well, it’s very interesting as we look at the answers that we get. The young lady, for instance: Were you loved as a child? “Oh yes!” How do you know? “We were always telling each other, sometimes many times in a day! We never forgot birthdays, we gave each other presents. We used to write little notes to each other. I remember as a kid going to school, and opening my lunch pail, and there inside was a little note from my mother: ‘I love you!’ I never, ever remember going to bed at night without kissing both my parents good night. I remember before I went on my first date, my daddy said, ‘Before you go on your first date, you have a date with me!’ And he took me out for dinner, and gave me a red rose, and he said, ‘I want you to see how a young man should treat a young woman. And I want you to know how a young woman should behave with a young man!’ I remember his eyes filled with tears, and he said, ‘I love you so much!’ He did, so I know I was loved.”

So we turn to the young man: What about you, were you loved as a child? “Yeah, I think I was. I mean, we didn’t do none of this hugging and stuff in our families, there was none of that. I never saw my parents being affectionate. In fact, my dad yelled at my mother a lot. I don't think she had a very good time of it, really. She just was quiet. She looked after us kids, but ...

“My dad came and watched me play football. If I played well, he’d say, ‘You done good, son!’ and slapped me on the butt! If I made a mistake, he bawled me out! He died while I was in high school. I cried, the only time I ever cried since I was a little kid, ‘cause I didn’t really know him, never talked to him! But I think he loved us in his own kind of way.”

Folks, that marriage is going to have horrendous problems. Do you know why it’s going to have problems? Because they both define love in totally different ways. One has experienced one kind of love, and her expectations are based on that definition. The other one defines it entirely differently, and his expectations are negligible. Her expectations are not going to be met, and he is going to be frustrated because he doesn’t know what’s wrong with her.