The reason we mention love is very, very obvious when we turn to verse 25 of chapter 5, where Paul begins to address the husbands. This is what he says:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph. 5:25-28).

Are you getting the message? “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church.” “Husbands, love your wives as you love your own body.” “Husbands, love your wives as you love yourself.”  It’s all about L-O-V-E, love! You don’t need to be an ardent Bible student to get the message that comes through loud and clear. What is surprising about that is that Paul, having addressed the women, said to them in the context of “submitting one to another as unto the Lord”: “Wives submit to your husbands, as to the Lord” (Eph. 5:22).

That word submission we don’t like very much, because we don’t like authority very much. We live in a society that has made a great emphasis on democracy and the equality of everybody; therefore, we have adopted a “nobody is going to tell me nothing, no how,” sort-of-attitude. I can do exactly as I want; I live in the land of the free and the home of the brave, and I’m free to do my own thing. This idea of submission sticks in our craw very quickly indeed.

Having told the wives to submit, we would assume the Apostle Paul would then turn to the husbands and say, “Okay guys, I got them all submitted now, so you run the show. Now you rule; now you control; now you be in charge; now you exercise authority.” That would seem to be the obvious corollary to wives submitting.

He doesn’t say that! That is why we have to look very carefully at what he means by submitting. What does he say? He says, “Wives submit, but husbands, love your wives.” Now that is a very different issue. It shouldn’t surprise us, actually, because if you read your Bible at all, you will notice that one of the great themes of the Bible is: We are to LOVE the Lord our God with all our heart, and mind, and soul, and strength! We all know that! We also know that the Bible says, “We are to LOVE our neighbor as ourselves.” We know that! In addition to that, Jesus comes along and says, “Now LOVE your enemies.” Of course, as Paul teaches the Christians, he says, “The thing that is going to characterize life in the Christian community is LOVE.”