By John A. Huffman Jr.
Senior Pastor of St. Andrews Presbyterian Church in Newport Beach, CA.
Lesson 2: One of the best gifts I can give Anne and the girls is the honest statement, “I was wrong.”
This must be a specific statement, confessing as quickly as possible to our loved ones when we have been wrong in attitude, word, and/or action.
I find it quite easy to say, “I’ve done my best, and I’m sorry if that’s not good enough.” That doesn’t help at all, does it? I need to be prayerfully self-reflecting on the fact the Bible says, “… All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God …” (Romans 3:23). It is only then when I admit I’m a fallen man, living in a world of other fallen men and women, that I’m able to identify specifically what I am doing and what I’m not doing that is counter-productive to the welfare and the happiness of my children, my wife, and the other significant people in my life.
Every one of us has a dark side. We act so surprised when scandals break out when another prominent clergy person or politician is forced to resign. Ironically, we tend to point the finger at others, gossiping about them in the very areas where we may be struggling ourselves.
It’s important for me to keep close accounts with the Lord in regard to my thought life, my actions, and my attitudes.
Some of you have heard me tell the story about my dad one day slapping my sister, Miriam, in the face when she had, as a teenager, mouthed off to him. It was in the living room of our home in Wheaton, Illinois. My mother and I witnessed this. I knew my father, usually so even tempered and so kind, had lost his cool. Not matter how wrong what she said was, he, too, was wrong. In wide-eyed wonderment, I stood there waiting to see what he would do.
Well, Dad, after a moment of stunned silence, immediately left the room, walking down the hallway into his and my mother’s bedroom. He closed the door behind him. He was gone for a few minutes. Then the door opened. He came back and, with tears streaming down his face, apologized to my sister, to my mother, and me. His words were something like this, “I’m so sorry for what I did. I was wrong to lose my temper and slap you, Miriam. I’ve asked God’s forgiveness, and He’s forgiven me. Now I ask yours, Miriam, and yours, Dorothy, and yours, John. I’m not excusing what you said that was wrong, Miriam, but I’m saying I was wrong in how I responded, and I need your forgiveness, as well as that of the Lord.”
This was one of the most profound learning experiences of my life. I saw many examples of good parenting when Mom and Dad did the right things. This is the most memorable of good parenting examples, when I saw a big man, a powerful person in the lives of the three of us, with tears running down his cheeks and great sobs of sorrow, asked the forgiveness of God and the forgiveness of us.