Let's look at the words, "You are free." A child is born totally dependent upon its parents for everything -- food, clothing, shelter, medicine, protection. The child needs rules, boundaries, examples and love. The child will grow up assuming this.

The boy in the story did this. He lived in his father's house. He didn't know what it was like not to live in his father's house. He took his heritage for granted. But the time comes when loving hands of parents must turn loose these children as they seek independence.

We get the term for it from the language of birds. We talk about "leaving the nest." Some of you have said, "Well my last child is leaving the nest this summer." When they have all left home, we talk about the "empty nest."

Recently Barbara noticed that in the nest a purple finch had built over the neighbor's drainpipe, three little ones were popping up and practicing their wings. She said, "I think they are going to leave the nest right away." I fixed lunch and sat with her to watch the process. The parents lured all of them out of the nest, watched each of them make their first flight and leave the nest forever. I thought, "I wish it were that simple and that quick." Leaving home is hard for children and it is equally hard for parents to turn them loose.

Look at the two sides of the story. The restless son is smothered by his parents, can't stand the rules and limitations, can't stand his older brother and is pulled by the lure of the unknown. The anxious father sees his son as immature and unequipped to make the kind of decision he was requesting. I wonder how long this discussion had been going on and all the different forms it took.

The father divided his property; when he did he was saying, "You are free." He didn't think the son was ready because he didn't say, "You are ready." He said, "You are free." He loved the son so much he could not force him to stay home.

When you say to your sons or daughters, "You are free," you are acknowledging they are other persons. They are not extensions of yourself. They are not your form of immortality. They are not an extension of your ego.

It's not without pain, anxiety or uncertainty. God in the Garden made people like us with a will that could be exercised by making a bad decision. It is more difficult to do this than most people dream, even when they love their children. But we must learn to say to our children when they are ready, "You are free" -- and sometimes before they are ready.

The second words are, "I love you." The most valuable gift you can give your children is to really love them - to will what is best for them whatever the cost to you. It is important not only for fathers to feel this, but also to communicate this.

I remember my father saying, "Son, I feel bad that I've not made more money and not provided you with more things." I feel it is dangerous to provide children with too many things. We exhaust ourselves making provision for our children and worrying about the things we don't buy them when the one thing every child has to have is love. It is something each of us can provide our children.