Then Moses cried out to the Lord, "What am I to do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me." (Exodus 17:4)

I hate criticism. Don't you? Is there anything that pierces deeper than a harsh, judgmental word?

Periodically I have to stop and readjust my whole outlook. I find there are times when I lose my equilibrium under the onslaught of criticism.

There are two kinds. One is called "constructive." It is designed, in the critic's mind, to bring a positive end. However, constructive criticism can be as painful to the one being criticized as that which is called "destructive." Both hurt.

Criticism can drag you down. Moses found this out. He didn't want to be a leader. He knew that he would have to pay the price of criticism. In the final analysis, Moses agreed to lead this band of slaves. Their lot in Egypt had been bad. Their children had been massacred. They had been driven in a terrible way by the oppression of their cruel taskmasters. You would think that Moses would be praised for His leadership. On the contrary. The story of the wilderness journey is one in which Moses is constantly maligned. You would think that the people would appreciate his courageous leadership. Instead they cry out, "If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death" (Exodus 16:3).

God provided for their need. He gave a promise for a future. Again they complained, criticizing Moses. The reason? He had run out of water. Once again they murmured against him, complaining about the fact that he had led them out of Egypt. What had been so horrible before looked so good in the difficult moment. Poor Moses. Broken by criticism, he falls on his face before God and cries out, '"What am I to do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me'" (Exodus 17:4).

We, like Moses, have been clobbered by devastating analysis. Are there some guidelines which can help us deal maturely with this problem?

The example of Moses and other biblical characters suggests four questions you can ask yourself. The honest answering of these will take the lid off this problem, helping you to deal with criticism in a creative manner.

Question one: Is the criticism valid?

Thank God for criticism! It can be a terrific stabilizer. Moses grew spiritually in his dependence on God through the criticism. The author of Proverbs continually urges us to seek wisdom and correction.

One reason criticism upsets me so much is that I know some of it is deserved. Yet there's a difference between criticism and slander. Every so often my name is slandered. This gets back to me through the grapevine. I find myself disturbed. However, I am not nearly as disturbed by slander as I am by criticism. Slander can be dismissed because it is simply dishonest. What is said has no factual basis. It disturbs me because others could believe the untruths. I try in every way to clarify this situation. Criticism gets to me in a much more subtle way. So often the critical word has some factual basis. My explosive response to it is a clear sign that someone is fingering me at a vulnerable point. My pride is wounded. I am painfully aware that this person has insights which are more valid than my own self-appraisal.