A Pardon to Yourself

But there's another aspect of pardon. It is not about being declared not guilty by God or setting other people free. It is about you pardoning you. It is about setting yourself free from wrongs and indiscretions you've committed. It is about released from the guilt you find yourself buried under. It is about being set free, not from the condemnation of God but the condemnation of self which can be the most difficult pardon to give and receive.

I remember years ago hearing of Japanese soldiers being found on remote islands in the Pacific Ocean who believed World War II was still being fought. It has been thirty years (March 1974) since Hiroo Onada was the last Japanese soldier to surrender. He had been left on a Philippine island in December 1944 with the command to "carry on the mission even if Japan surrenders." Four other soldiers were left as well while the other Japanese soldiers evacuated. One soldier surrendered in 1950. Another was killed in a police skirmish in 1954 as well as another in 1972. But Onada continued his war alone. All efforts to convince him to surrender failed. He ignored messages from loudspeakers announcing Japan's surrender and that Japan was now an ally of the United States. Leaflets were dropped begging him to surrender but he refused to believe that the war was over. He lived off the land and raided the fields and gardens of local citizens, and was responsible for killing some thirty individuals during his almost thirty year personal war. 13,000 men and almost $500,000 was spent trying to locate and convince him to surrender. Finally in 1974, Onada handed over his sword to President Marcos who offered him a pardon. The war was over. Not the world conflict. It was the war within Onada himself which can often be the most difficult war for anyone to win. When asked of his thirty-year ordeal Onada responded, "Nothing pleasant happened in the 29 years in the jungle."

Like Onada, nothing pleasant happens when battles continue to rage within one's soul. Nothing happens when you can not (or will not) hear God saying, "The battle is over." I love the words of Psalm 103:12 where David says: " . . . as far as the east is from the west, so far has God removed our transgressions from us." David needed it and so might you.

Though God can pardon everything that has been so wrong with your life, you aren't that capable. The Lord has cast your yesterdays into the depths of the sea but you haven't been able to bury matters that deeply. Your horizons are a bit shorter. You have trouble getting some thoughts outside your head and heart. But it does not have to stay this way!

For sure, everyone lives with regrets — regrets that can be debilitating, if not paralyzing. "If only," is the phrase of their life. Their story sounds like, "If only I had heeded the advice of my parents, then I wouldn't be where I am." Or, "If only I had been paying attention, these problems would have never arisen." If only, if only, if only. You can probably trace back in your minds a series of events and realize if one thing hadn't occurred, then another thing would not have happened, and the course of your life would have been different. But it didn't and so, now you live with regrets.