You must forgive me for being so explicit, but if we cannot talk about this aspect of the problem we are not being fully honest. First of all, we live in a society that celebrates marriage in the face of persons who are living single and may never be able to share in a marital relationship. Then, to make matters worse, we celebrate human sexuality as one of the central aspects of human life.

So many of our popular songs, so many of the Hollywood films and so much of the subject matter on TV talk shows is about sex and intimacy. We do not suggest in any of those venues that human sexuality is limited to people who are married. Instead, we celebrate adultery, we give awards to films that focus on intimacy between homosexual cowboys, we have TV shows about openly lesbian relations, and one of the most popular shows on TV is called Desperate Housewives – a show that celebrates lust on the part of married women.

In truth, the temptation of sexual activity between unmarried, heterosexual adults is not the most shocking thing going on in our society today. However, as tempting as sex outside of marriage may be for some unmarried adults, it still occurs in the face of some terrible risks and realities. The first risk and reality is that there is no shortage of people who are more than willing to satisfy the sexual urges of other people so long as there are no strings attached. Do not ask them for commitment. Do not ask them for love and a meaningful relationship. Do not ask them for anything except a solution for the lust or burning mentioned by Paul in I Corinthians 7:9. Sometimes this problem can produce the worst kind of sexual promiscuity with no trace of authentic love or commitment as the Bible understands those terms.

The second risk and reality of sex between unmarried adults is the presence of HIV/AIDS and other diseases for which there is no cure. When you lie down with someone in this society you are lying down with their entire sexual history. And when you get up you will not know for many years to come whether or not a moment of passion has resulted in a lifetime of infection. I should add that people above the age of 55 are among those who are contracting HIV/AIDS at the highest rates. This is because, after years of marriage and monogamy, they have become divorced or widowed. They re-enter the “dating game” and become intimate with people who bring a 30-year sexual history with them. Believing that birth control is no longer their concern they engage in unprotected sex. Then, much to their surprise and chagrin, many such persons discover they have contracted this disease. As difficult as loneliness may be, it is a much better solution than a long illness, a harsh medical regiment of drugs and the potential of a painful death.

The third reality to be confronted is that as Christians we are called upon to live in ways that are pleasing to God and also in ways that set an example for others in our society. One of the most important lessons Christian singles can teach this society is that one can be single and celibate and satisfied with one’s life. Are there moments of temptation? No doubt! Does the culture in which we live make it difficult to live single- celibate and satisfied? No doubt! Is that the life Gods holds out in front of unmarried people in our churches and in our society? No doubt! I am not suggesting that this is the life many of you may prefer to enjoy; I am only saying that this life is possible and should be embraced by those followers of Jesus Christ who want their lives to be pleasing to God.