Satan had a good mouthpiece in Job’s wife. She urged her husband to “curse God and die.” (Job 2:9) She was at least a quart low on encouragement. Job’s response was, “Though God allows the world to slay me, yet will I trust him.” (Job 13:15)

Satan’s desire is to destroy us, in this world and the next. So, he first tries to separate us from God, our primary source of strength. We must resist his demonic arguments.

A former great preacher in Atlanta, Pierce Harris, lost his wife Mary in a tragic auto accident. A few months later a man wrote to Dr. Harris and said, "I hope your terrible loss will not destroy your faith." Dr. Harris said that he felt like writing back to him and saying, "Man, haven't I lost enough already without throwing away my faith too? Why should I cast aside the only hope that keeps me going?"

Ask God to bring good out of your pain

Job had no way of knowing that his story would become an eternal blessing to all future generations of grievers. I can only imagine how often the story of Job was told by the suffering Jews in Hitler’s concentration camps.

St. Paul declared that “all things work together for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Rom. 8:28) Notice Paul did not say that everything is good. Lots of things are terrible. But anything that is turned over to God in faith can be used as raw material for his good purposes.

God has wastebaskets, but only for our forgiven sins. Nothing else is wasted. God desires that every experience, no matter how painful, produce some good.

It has been 21 years since our son Aaron died. He was just eight years old when a brain tumor took him from us. In the months that followed his death, numerous people told me how his life and death had brought them closer to Christ. I recall a man who worked on the air-conditioning system of our church. He approached me about six months after Aaron’s death and said, “I used to have no interest in religion or church. But when your son died, I suddenly realized that death can strike people of all ages. I have three small children. I tried to imagine how I would cope if one of my kids died. I knew that I could not unless I got closer to Christ. So I invited him to be my personal Savior and Lord, and then my entire family made the same commitment. We are now in church almost every Sunday.”

Back in 1983, my wife and I doubted that life could ever become good again. But it is! That does not mean that we don’t still miss Aaron. We think of him every day. Yes, we sometimes have “blue days,” when we miss him acutely, especially on his birthday and around Christmas. But we know that God will have all eternity to make up for the years we are separated.

Whatever may have been your loss, I hope that these four biblical guidelines will assist you in your walk through grief. There is no way to avoid grief, but there is an unseen one who walks beside us and shares it. His name is Jesus. He is the Good Shepherd, the one who said, “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

I love the chorus of an old gospel hymn that has these words:

When answers aren't enough, there is Jesus;
He is more than just an answer to your prayers.
And your hearts will find a safe and peaceful refuge.
When answers aren't enough, He is there.

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William R. Bouknight is Senior Pastor of Christ United Methodist Church in Memphis, TN. He is a Contributing Editor of Preaching.

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NOTES:
1. Campolo, Tony, Let Me Tell You a Story, (W Publishing, 2000), p. 186.
2. From article in USA Today, November 10, 2004 issue.
3. Redhead, John, from a sermon entitled, “How Can I Deal with Grief?” in a book of sermons entitled Putting Your Faith to Work (Abingdon).
4. An observation by Leighton Ford, in an article for the Charlotte (NC) Observer newspaper, entitled, “Thanksgiving Grief: A Father’s Struggle,” November 24, 1983.