What was happening in that home? A boundary was being crossed. What had started out beautiful and pure with love was beginning to smell like a swamp. What do you do about it? The good news is that the God who gives us the boundaries in the first place will restore them if we will let Him -- but we have to be willing to let Him.

As pastor, I have seen so many miracles happen. I’ve seen so many relationships restored. They all, though, have one thing in common: the persons in these relationships stop insisting on their own way and get back to asking each other how they can love God’s way. Until individuals do that, they make no progress. It is a major problem for many people to understand that we should not insist on our own way. Often, when a relationship isn’t going well and we want to change it, we pray for God to change the feelings involved. Yet, what we should pray instead is for God to help us understand the boundaries that have been crossed.

For example, what do you do if you are in the middle of a swamp, and you wish it were a river? Do you complain about the water? No, you rebuild the banks and, as you rebuild the banks and provide a fresh, directed flow of water, the quality of the water takes care of itself. If you get into a relationship that you know is not going the way it should, don’t ask God to change the feelings. Instead, say, “God, would you show me where we have broken your boundaries, and be with us as we seek to restore them?” God has this miraculous way of restoring the love as you restore His boundaries.

Now, I know that restoration doesn’t always happen. Sometimes there has been too much damage or sometimes the other person won’t cooperate. You can’t have a relationship with just one person. I understand. Yet, I want to tell you as pastor, I’ve seen miracles happen when people stop complaining, stop basing everything on feelings, and start asking God to show them where the boundaries have been crossed. Then, in asking Him for guidance to rebuild those boundaries, they restore the love.

That is what happened with that woman. We talked, prayed together, and ultimately, she made several commitments. She committed to pray every day and in that time let God love her. The Bible says you love only because God first loved you. If you are trying to restore love, you start by letting Jesus love you. She made a second commitment, which was to read the Bible’s teachings on relationships and to see a Christian counselor. She also joined a parent’s support group. Last, she committed to restore the boundaries: changing the ways she was treating her children and changing the way she was allowing her husband to treat her.

As you can imagine, it was not much trouble with the kids. She just did it and the kids were quick to respond. Changing the relationship with her husband, though, was tough.