Granted, things happen that can break up the home, such as death or divorce, and those are terrible. But the people of God rally around and, with the love of the church, friends, and a caring community, miracles can happen and grace can flow. However, we don’t call that the ideal. We call it healing. The ideal is for children to learn to appreciate both a mother and a father, in a home that is faithful to God and letting God’s love shine through them so the child understands this love. In a same-sex marriage, by definition, you can’t have both halves represented and, over time, it explodes community.

Now, please understand and remember as I talk like this, I love you and God loves you. You may find MTV interesting. But I just want you to think about what you are watching and whether boundaries are being crossed. If you or someone close to you is in a same-sex relationship, remember that God’s church is open to help you. You need to know that the love of the church is powerful, if we will just let ourselves be vulnerable to it. People who have been involved in same-sex relationships have come forward and expressed how, through the grace of God, Christian counseling, and the support of members of a congregation, they became free to follow a biblical lifestyle and have a happy Christian marriage where desired.

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My point is that because God loves us, He gives boundaries to behavior so that the way we love will not be merely an insistence on our own way. The way we love will be God’s way, so that our love will abide and will never end, because our relationships are built within His boundaries.

Now, every one of us deals with issues of boundaries. The examples I have been giving are very public. We’ve seen them in the headlines. Let’s make this a little more personal, because everyone of us knows that some of the most important boundary issues are quiet and private, but have great capacity to be so destructive.

I was talking with a woman in our congregation. Sitting in my office, she was telling me that she loved her husband so much, but that she was smothered and intimidated by his strong personality. When they first got married, she was submissive, figuring that was the way to get along. Over the years, though, his personality just seemed to get stronger and stronger. Although he was not physically abusive, he discounted everything she said, overrode every decision she made, and demeaned her in front of other people. He was making her feel more and more worthless. The decision to come in and see me resulted from her realization that although he still said he loved her, he was killing her love for him. In addition, she realized that she was beginning to treat their children the same way he treated her.

That is definitely crossing God’s boundary, isn’t it? Do you know what Ephesians 5:21 says? It says “Submit yourselves, one to another.” That is a pretty clear boundary. The New Testament has lots of advice on roles in marriage and the relationship between husband and wife and children, but they all start with this one assumption: marriage is to be mutual, and no one person is supposed to be dominating or grinding down anybody else. Instead, you are to find your highest joy in blessing the other.