Everyone has his pet peeve; mine is the answering machine. I have a minute to make a quick call. The people are not there, but I'm in luck -- they have an answering machine. The machine says, "Sorry we're not here to take your call, but if you'd leave a brief message, we'd be happy to get back to you." Right? Isn't that what they all say? So I get ready for my brief message. Then the music starts. First I hear "One Heart, One Hand" from West Side Story. Then comes "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." I'm about ready to hang up when the music stops. I thank them for the concert and try to leave my message -- but I've been listening to so much music that I forget what I called for.

What gets to you? Maybe your boss is a jerk who puts you down. Or your neighbor's son plays his music too loud. Or your relative insists on being the center of attention at each family gathering. Or your spouse embarrasses you in public with cutting remarks. Or your fellow church member has opposite ideas about the ministry you are involved in and is vocal about it. Or you're on time and you wish others would be as courteous. Or you are real neat with your stuff and wish the other members of the household were as together as you. You have a right to be angry -- and you are. But what are you going to do with it?

Will you stay angry until the responsible parties acknowledge their guilt? You may wait a long time. Will you stay angry until you feel you have sufficiently paid them back? Who got paid back? Will you get even by sharing their crime with someone else? Congratulations, you have just enlarged the problem. Will you fume inside because they have a problem with irresponsibility? If you get stomach ulcers, who is the irresponsible one? Will you explode at them because you can't take the injustice any longer, thereby breaking off a relationship that wasn't that good anyway, or making it difficult for them to acknowledge their blame? Not much got solved.

Anger is a subtle emotion. It is often veiled behind other emotions because we are afraid to acknowledge it. Perhaps we've been told it is wrong to get angry. Maybe we feel justified with our anger, but don't know quite what to do. We certainly are are not able to confront the person who made us angry -- good heavens, no. We'd rather keep our anger than do that.

We'd probably be healthier if we were the exploding kind; at least we'd know we were angry and we would blow off some pressure. But most angry people in the church are the passive kind. That is safer, or so we think. We still might get even, but in more acceptable ways than throwing a chair at a church council member or shouting at the top of our voice. We procrastinate, show up late, lower our performance, dress sloppy, obstruct progress, cut with humor, shut off, criticize to our understanding friends, or use other indirect methods of getting even.

At home some of us are freer about exploding. At church or work we are more devious or indirect. Anger is one of the hardest emotions for Christians to deal with because of the confusion regarding it; we don't acknowledge we have it because we aren't supposed to have it. So we call it something else, deceive ourselves, and tear apart the body of Christ with unloving responses to unloving actions. There's got to be a better way -- and there is.