The demand that she respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33) is much more understandable in light of her legal obligation to submit to his authority. When authority is established and demanded without ever having been earned, it is natural that resentment and resistance build within the submissive party. However, Paul tried to help the Christian wife avoid that attitude of resistance, resentment, and bitterness.

Christ's headship over the church was expressed in love. That is the model of the husband's authority. He is not to be the wife's "lord"; that would usurp the place of Christ in her life. He is, however, to model Christ's love for the church in his devotion to his wife. That is the basis and model of the husband's authority.

His relationship to his wife is not one of dominance, but responsible and loving leadership in the family. When the husband is lovingly responsible, the wife will respect him and voluntarily yield to him in love. (It is important that you keep this interpretation in its original cultural context.) He proves himself worthy of her trust, and in return, she gives herself.

Beyond that, the wife is also to love her husband (Titus 2:4-5). It may seem strange that both spouses have been urged to love each other. In our time, the most common reason people give for marrying is their love for each other.

That was not so in Paul's day. Marriages were still arranged, to a large extent, by the parents of the couples. In those cases, neither marriage partner may have had any involvement in the choice of their mate.

Yet, the passage is certainly applicable today. Both respect and love are essential to the healthy wife to husband relationship. Yet, in increasing numbers of marriages, those elements are missing. But without the proper relationship of a man to his wife -- one in which he truly loves her, cares for her, gives himself to her, without domination --she will not love and respect him in return.

Good marriage is a two-way commitment. The only appropriate model for a Christian marriage is the relationship of Jesus Christ to His bride, the church. The popular model of marriage based upon a military chain of command is simply not biblical.

If you are serious about remodeling your marriage, you must begin with an understanding of the relationship of Christ to His church. Any strong family is based upon a healthy relationship between husband and wife.

Is your home all that you dreamed, wanted, and worked for it to be? What was your model for marriage as you started this venture? The Bible says the model of a Christian marriage is the relationship of Christ to His people. In that light, do you need to remodel your marriage?

Do you sincerely care for your marriage as much as Christ cares for His church? Frankly, to get things back on track, your marriage must become the thing you want in life, not just one of many things.

Will you and your wife dare make that kind of commitment to each other in this place today?