Tell me, what happened to his sense of equal responsibility thast he strictly enforces at his office? Every member of the family should sense an equal responsibility with every other member for the success of that family.

Each does what must be done, each does what he or she does best, whether or not that represents a traditional assignment. For the sake of the family, I will do what I can do, and I will give my spouse the freedom to do what she can do for the benefit and well-being of our family.

The Bible does not spell out specific assignments as being masculine or feminine, patriarchal or matriarchal in nature. The Bible, instead, emphasizes relationship -- not role and function -- above everything else.

II

That is the only model, I believe, which can ever stand the stress of time and avoid the staleness of a non-growing marriage.

Paul made it clear that in the Christian community (i.e., Christian church, Christian home, etc.), "there is neither male nor female ... for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). It is difficult to conceive of a more definitive statement of equality.

The statement should not be taken to mean that Paul denied or argued for the obliteration of the obvious differences between male and female as physical, emotional, or spiritual persons. But, he did affirm the equal worth of males and females as persons. Both come equally to Christ and both equally put on Christ in their act of faith and subsequent baptism.

Paul went further. He commanded husbands: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). Tradition only required that he provide adequately for his wife, but the New Testament demanded love as an essential ingredient to the husband-wife relationship.

Most wives continue to verify Paul's basic premise: love is the essential stuff of a marriage. Where husbands are totally devoted to providing adequately (or more) for their wife and children, and are totally devoid of love, the marriage has already failed.

The word "love" is the strongest word Paul could use. It is the same word which describes God's gift to the world of his only Son so He could redeem the world. It is the same word which describes the essential nature of the relationship between Christ and his church, which is the new model for the marriage relationship.

What that means for the husband is this: He Values his wife as a person of equal worth with himself. Some years ago, a family sociologist suggested that the greatest problem with most contemporary marriages is that they are designed for only one and one-half persons. In his estimation, many wives are not generally accepted as whole persons. In the Christian marriage, however, the wife is equally loved by her Creator.

Loving the wife as Christ loved the church also means that the husband will demonstrate sacrificial love for her -- giving himself up for her as Christ gave up His life for the church. What that means is that the husband must demonstrate his love for his wife. He cannot simply depend upon her to intuitively know that he loves her.