We live in a culture in which people don't always want to come out and say what they mean — particularly those people who are trying to sell us something. We've always had euphemisms around — "senior" instead of old, "pre-owned" instead of used, "revenue enhancement" instead of tax. We all know that a rose by any other name is still a rose — or a tax, or a used car.

But the advertisers seem to be going to new and grander extremes to attempt to convince us that their products are other than what they appear to be. For example, I was reading the other day in Direct, a marketing magazine, and they identified some popular current marketing phrases. I thought I'd share some with you — along with my interpretation of what they really mean.

"You've been pre-approved" — but we still want you to fill out this six-page application, and we may not give you a card after all

"Cost recovery fee" — we want our product to sound cheaper than it really is, so we'll just add this on so it sounds like it's someone else's fault

"Individual results may vary" — don't get your hopes up

"Limited warranty" — whatever goes wrong with yours isn't covered

"A national best — seller" — all my friends and family bought a copy

"New and improved" — we couldn't get the first model to work

"With a few exceptions" — this would be one of those few

"One size fits all" — just not very well

Of course, we church leaders measure up pretty well to those high — paid marketing types in our use of language. There is a reason that "ministerially speaking" tends to mean exaggerated. For example:

"What a glorious Sunday we had!" — several people actually showed up for a change

"We baptized six last week!" — if you count the five deacons that fell out of the boat during the men's fishing trip

"This will be a shorter sermon than usual" — don't count on being at the front of the buffet line today

"What a wonderful job Miss Lucy did on our special music this morning" — be thankful you had your hearing aid turned down

"And finally . . ." — yeah, sure.

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Michael Duduit is Editor of Preaching magazine and President of American Ministry Resources. You can write to him at michael@preaching.com, or visit his website at www.michaelduduit.com.