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HUMOR
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HUMOR ARCHIVE
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July 2007
A 4th grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to...
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July 2007
• When you replaced your tires, Goodyear stock went up five dollars a share for the quarter.
• Your garage is larger than...
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July 2007
Here are some classified ads that appeared in newspapers — but perhaps could have used a bit more proofreading:
2 female Boston...
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July 2007
What happens at these Fahrenheit temperatures:
+65 — Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night.
+60 — Californians put on sweaters...
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July 2007
With toys on our minds, here are some disclaimers to be found at a toy department near you:
* No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture...
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July 2007
(as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff):
1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing"...
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July 2007
1. A day without sunshine is like night.2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made...
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HUMOR
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Here are some quotes from athletes and coaches that might have been better left unsaid:
* New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season..."I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
* "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a
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The National Center for Fathering conducts Father of the Year Essay Contests in partnership with local schools and sponsoring organizations. In 2005, eight contests were held and altogether, over 100,000...
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10. He promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.9. He runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The West Wing."8. His #1 choice for a position on his cabinet is "That Bob...
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In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next...
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An elderly man was at home, upstairs, dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing,...
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The following are actual submissions on a series of science quizzes, tests, and essays:
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold...
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The Evangelical Press Association (EPA) website recently shared the following: Christianese is a language used in the Christian subculture and understood easily only by other practicing Christians. As...
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Several years ago I spoke to 1,400 church-goers representing more than two dozen...
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After eighteen years as pastor of a church he planted, Ron Martoia’s ministry has...
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I have visited many parts of the world in which the challenges to the 21st-century...
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