The writer of Hebrews places marriage in the context of mutual love and hospitality and exhorts “let the marriage bed be kept undefiled; for God will judge fornicators [those who have sexual relations outside the covenant of marriage] and adulterers [those who violate their marriage vows]” (Heb. 13:4). Jesus teaches that lust in the heart is in fact the sin of adultery. This is an especially powerful concept in a postmodern society overwhelmed by moral and sexual relativism.

We should distinguish between fleeting thoughts and a pattern of thinking. Luther said, “You can’t keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from making a nest in your hair.”

Preaching on issues related to the home, marriage and sexual ethics is of vital importance if we are to declare the whole counsel of God. Most people don’t need more information about sex – there are plenty of resources that focus on physiological information and the mechanics and technique of the sexual act.

What our parishioners need to hear is a biblical and doctrinally sound basis for human identity and purpose in life. We need to underscore that God is the creator of all and gives only good gifts to His children. Sexual identity and expression are among those good gifts. It is only in our fallenness that these become dehumanizing and destructive.

Thanks be to God, through Christ’s death, burial and resurrection we are redeemed from the curse of the Fall. Therefore, it is appropriate for couples to have conversation about and develop greater sensitivity to intimacy in all its expressions and experiences.

We must be direct in addressing the destructive “principalities and powers” we face. Specifically, the internet and other technologies make it possible to bring pornography into our homes in ways unimagined by earlier generations. And we should not underestimate the impact of the cafeteria of deviant sexual options available in the laissez-faire amorality of the Western world.

Virtual sex, voyeurism and the vile fruit associated with this epidemic are anything but the “victimless crimes” of an overly indulgent and narcissistic culture. Any pastoral counselor knows the damaging and damning effects to self-esteem, healthy relationships and fellowship with God fostered by theses “idols” of lust.

We need to talk honestly with our adolescents and other singles about the powerful and confusing drives and desires faced. We need to assist one another in critiquing music, culture and fashion and, with specific emphasis, help all to “flee youthful lusts” through the development of a healthy and holistic Christian spirituality.

We need to celebrate marriage. But we need to be honest. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. We are not always expected to be “happy” but we are called to faithfulness – which has been described as “a long obedience in the same direction.” Such faithfulness is true for our relationship with God and it is true for any deep and lasting relationship between husband and wife.

We must also continue to proclaim God’s love and grace for those who have failed in their marriages or fallen morally in other ways. While we must encourage marriage as a lifetime commitment we should not disparage or discourage those already divorced. With the Apostle we should proclaim that Christ came to save sinners “of whom I am the foremost” (1 Tim.1:15).

The Bible does not blink at labeling various sexual practices as sin but sexual sins are not elevated to a status greater than other kinds of sin. Jesus offered both forgiveness and an encouragement to live differently to an adulteress dragged before him by the self-righteous religious legalists of his day. We can do no better than to follow His example.

he church is not a haven for those already fully sanctified, it is a hospital for us sinners. And the Gospel cure must be administered over a lifetime – for only in eternity will we be finally and fully cured of the curse of sin.

A noted pastor observed, “When my wife and I married, we knew that ‘the two shall become one’ and spent the first ten years of our marriage fighting over which one we would become.” The truth is that the “one” that emerges in the intimacy of marriage is not the denial of our individuality or uniqueness or the merging of separate selves. The mystery is that in union with one another before God we are part of creating something larger than ourselves – a oneness that is new and profoundly more that anything we could become alone.