Preaching: Preaching to the issues of family – what are things that you think pastors can do through their preaching and teaching ministries that can help strengthen families?

London: Well, I’m not sure about all the preaching, because a lot of that preaching is going to end up with a lot of guilt, especially on fathers. I think three things: I think number one we’ve got to teach and preach the significance and the value of marriage. We cannot allow ourselves to fall into the trap that the world is trying to say to us, that the definition of marriage can be bounced around or contested. Naturally from a very conservative ministry like I’m from — Focus on the Family — we believe wholeheartedly that marriage is between a man and woman and lasts forever. We know that there are going to be divorces. We’re aware of that. But we still believe that in God’s ideal of marriage for a lifetime. I think the second thing is we’ve got to help our parents learn how to parent the children. There are so many fragmented and separated homes and stepfamilies and variations of families and single parents — all these kind of things. The church has a responsibility to cover the bases. I don’t know how but with people sitting in the pew, 40% of them have been divorced, 60% of those who have been remarried are going to get divorced. Children from three different marriages are trying to balance when we go to church – when we don’t go to church, how do we find stability when my child can only be at church once every three weeks. The church has to step in there. We can’t just stand by and watch the avalanche. It’s not just something that we have the luxury of observing — we’ve got to walk into that.

Advertisement

The third thing — and this is really key to me — I think the economy of church growth and the economy of healthy churches is based on the father. If we don’t teach fathers how to be fathers and husbands and churchmen, we’re going to continue to struggle as the body of Christ. I’ve practiced it and I believe it – even if pastors still laugh at me as a result of it — but I made ministry to men, the fathers my priority. It was the most important thing I did as a pastor because it has been statistically proven that if you can get a committed father into the church loving Jesus Christ and his family, then 94% of the time all the family will follow and be blessed by the relationship.

Preaching: Elsewhere in this issue we have an interview with David Murrow, who writes about why men don’t want to come to church. He talks about the feminization of the church. Do you see that as a factor in reaching men?

London: In so many ways men have abdicated their role of leadership in the church. Because women are often more aggressive and in many ways more mature and more biblically based they take on a lot of the leadership – they may not sit on deacon boards but they still are the driving force behind what happens in the church. I see that in the kind of songs we sing. I’m not sure that most men like to sing love songs. I think they like to sing “Onward Christian Soldiers” and “We’re Marching to Zion.” I think men like to sing cheerleading songs. I don’t think they like to sing love songs. I think that women and teenagers like to stand and sing 40 minutes and just sing songs. I don’t think the average guy likes to stand up in church and sing songs for 45 minutes, especially if you can’t hum them when it’s over. I just don’t.