The
world knows the problem but not the solution. The church knows the solution
but not the problem. We were too scared to preach about sex and now look at
the results. Here are some practical principles and biblical patterns to
learn:
1.
Plan ahead to write out your pulpit sexual language.
Go
through the painstakingly slow but important process of writing down
your sermon words about sex so that you will hear it out loud before others
will hear it. Discard and replace your words over and over again so that they
sound just right.
Privately
practice and act out the exact words, tone of voice, and pulpit gestures. As
you practice your preaching, most importantly practice your hearing of your
words. Do not trust yourself to casually or instinctively “wing it” with
the wisest words.
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I
remember a preacher describing a woman in his sermon who had a wild past before
she was a Christian. She fell in love with a godly man and the pastor was giving
them pre-marital counseling. He wanted each to know the other’s sexual history
and used these words in his sermon: “I wanted the man to realize that he
was getting a used car and not the new car he thought he was ordering.”
Ouch! The pastor meant well but it sure didn’t come across well. How many people
instantly and silently felt like a used car, just then? Is that how God views
me now? Should everyone who has had premarital sex view themselves now as a
used car? What about the woman who was raped or the child who was molested by
her uncle? Is she a used car, too? Will you seek help from someone who thinks
you’re a used car?
2.
Your goal is personal ministry, not public controversy.
Don’t
pause and profusely apologize for the sexual content in your sermons.
God
doesn’t apologize in the Scriptures for using sexual language; why should you?
He gives us not a red light nor a green light but instead, a flashing yellow
light to proceed with caution. You answer to God and not to the older Methusaleh’s
in your church. Your goal is not to scratch itching ears but to stir people’s
hearts. A sermon’s sexual language is to be constructed like you’re building
a bridge to reach hurting people — people who hurt from their own (or other’s)
sexual sin. Don’t draw attention to what you say; instead, spotlight why you
say these words. It’s all about people, not politics. Sex is not an issue you
preach about; it’s about individuals you reach for. Have these sincere motives
and your words will follow (Matthew 12:34).
People
won’t be inclined to criticize your message when they can see your motives.