A
travel agency was upset that their local Yellow Pages advertised that their
agency specialized in “erotic” tours when their ad was supposed to say “exotic”.
Oops! Just a difference of one word (in fact, one very small letter) resulted
in a huge flood of interested but disappointed callers and eventually a lawsuit.
As
Mark Twain once said: “the difference between the right word and the almost
right word is the difference between the lightning and the lightning
bug!”
“Choosing
the right words” is the toughest job for today’s preachers who want to effectively
preach to the sexually wounded and addicted people in their church. The sexual
revolution has severely maimed our church’s children, teenagers, singles, men,
women, and grandparents; no age or gender has been spared.
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Amidst
the millions of women who have chosen abortion or who have been raped or sexually
assaulted, do you think that none of these women ever attend your church? Among
the millions of children, teenagers, men or women who were sexually molested
at a tender age, many hear your sermons. Do you help them? Among the millions
of men who struggle with an attraction to other men or to young children, are
you naive enough to think that none of them will visit your church? Is it just
possible that the men who have their eyes on you in the pulpit have those same
eyes on the porn sites just a few hours earlier? Sexual hurts and habits are
usually hidden quite well behind the smiling faces and firm handshakes on Sunday.
When
it comes to preaching about sex, most preachers are like a clumsy bull in a
delicate china closet forgetting that these people are so fragile or already
broken.
I
counsel people all the time who tell me they would NEVER go to their preacher
for help after hearing what they said about sex on any given Sunday! There
is NO way! Rarely do people ever see any public competence or pastoral compassion
about sex. Review your past sermons . . . Our voices get much louder and our
gestures get more forceful whenever we mention pornography, fornication, abortion,
or homosexuality. You might hear some “Amens” but did you see those who slide
down in their seats?
Would
you want to receive counseling from a person who said what YOU just said? Would
you seek help from someone who rants and raves about your hurt or issue? You’ll
never have a private counseling ministry to sexual offenders or victims in your
community if your preaching content and communication style continues to be
cold.
We
must adopt neither a Victorian nor a Corinthian mindset about sexual topics.
I want you to preach in such a powerful way that your people WILL be drawn to
you and not away from you! They’ll learn that you really do understand and can
help them! You ARE the best expert in their world for how to properly deal with
guilt, anger, shame, fear, self-esteem, helplessness, pain, temptation, or bondage.