As Mark Twain once said: “the difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between the lightning and the lightning bug!”

 “Choosing the right words” is the toughest job for today’s preachers who want to effectively preach to the sexually wounded and addicted people in their church. The sexual revolution has severely maimed our church’s children, teenagers, singles, men, women, and grandparents; no age or gender has been spared.

Amidst the millions of women who have chosen abortion or who have been raped or sexually assaulted, do you think that none of these women ever attend your church? Among the millions of children, teenagers, men or women who were sexually molested at a tender age, many hear your sermons. Do you help them? Among the millions of men who struggle with an attraction to other men or to young children, are you naive enough to think that none of them will visit your church? Is it just possible that the men who have their eyes on you in the pulpit have those same eyes on the porn sites just a few hours earlier? Sexual hurts and habits are usually hidden quite well behind the smiling faces and firm handshakes on Sunday. 

When it comes to preaching about sex, most preachers are like a clumsy bull in a delicate china closet forgetting that these people are so fragile or already broken.  

I counsel people all the time who tell me they would NEVER go to their preacher for  help after hearing what they said about sex on any given Sunday! There is NO way! Rarely do people ever see any public competence or pastoral compassion about sex.   Review your past sermons . . . Our voices get much louder and our gestures get more forceful whenever we mention pornography, fornication, abortion, or homosexuality.  You might hear some “Amens” but did you see those who slide down in their seats?

Would you want to receive counseling from a person who said what YOU just said? Would you seek help from someone who rants and raves about your hurt or issue? You’ll never have a private counseling ministry to sexual offenders or victims in your community if your preaching content and communication style continues to be cold.

We must adopt neither a Victorian nor a Corinthian mindset about sexual topics. I want you to preach in such a powerful way that your people WILL be drawn to you and not away from you! They’ll learn that you really do understand and can help them! You ARE the best expert in their world for how to properly deal with guilt, anger, shame, fear, self-esteem, helplessness, pain, temptation, or bondage.