This
is Preaching magazine, so let me say it this way. The terminology we use in
the pulpit will determine whether or not men understand our intent. Words are
powerful and we need to be choosing our words carefully. If we’re using
the language of romance to describe the Christian walk, we are going to attract
more women than we do men. But if we use the language of conflict, of achievement,
of victory, men will instinctively understand us because that language is written
onto a man’s soul.
Preaching:
In preaching and worship, what are things that churches can do to draw or connect
with men?
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Murrow:
Let me just go through a few of the things that are creating a feminized worship
climate and then I can talk about how to address them. The first one is corny
sentimental elements. A lot of the things we do — especially in smaller
churches — have sort of a heartfelt and homespun feel to them but men often
see these as hokey. Like prayer and share times or tear-jerking sentimental
stories or the seven-year-old who’s playing the offertory on the violin.
Those types of things warm the hearts of women but really kind of leave men
cold.
Spirit-filled
churches often encourage men to lose control emotionally in the worship service.
Our society looks down on men who lose control but women face no similar censure.
I agree that a man needs a good cry now and then but if we judge a man’s
faith by how many tears he sheds I think we’ve set him up for failure.
The
way a church is decorated makes a difference. A lot of sanctuaries are painted
a soft pink or eggshell white or lavender with cushiony pews and neutral carpet.
There are fresh flowers on the altar and the walls have quilted banners or felted
banners. So that sends a strong message to men. Or Kleenex under every pew.
Those things send a strong message to men that this is a feminine environment.
The
music certainly fits women’s tastes today. We’re moving towards more
contemporary praise songs and away from hymns. Reformation hymns used to speak
of battle, blood and victory but most of today’s praise songs are tender
love songs to Jesus. It’s tough on a man to express his love to Jesus.
A man who sings these is using words no man would dare say to another. Now that’s
the problem.
I
think the solution for worship leaders and pastors is to understand that you
are leading men into battle and not into the bedroom. You have to ask yourself: is
the goal to have a warm, gooey feeling in their hearts about Jesus, or am I
out there preparing them for battle? And the way that you answer that question
will determine in large measure the spirit you project in your worship service.
I think a lot of contemporary churches today are focused on getting people to
a place of having an intense emotional experience with Jesus. I think that some
people need that experience but a lot of men recoil from it.