Certainly Dr. Noren's words ring true. There is no more appropriate time to preach the gospel. Thus funeral preachers need to keep two discrete issues clearly before the congregation. We must hold the preaching of the gospel in tension with the specific individual's death for whom we have gathered to hear the good news of God incarnate in Jesus Christ.

Preachers then have two types of material to prepare for a time of death. One set of materials can be prepared far in advance. These materials would be lessons on the gospel that concern death and resurrection. Most denominational books of worship or service books for ministers have identified scores of appropriate funeral texts. In addition, wise preachers also collect over time stories, hymn verses, quotations, prose selections, or poems appropriate for funeral or memorial services. Clearly the longer a pastor is in the ministry the larger the collection of materials to which that pastor may turn.

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A second source of funeral material pastors pull together at the time of death. Every pastor has her or his own way of doing things, but I discovered that meeting with the family on a day between an individual's death and the funeral service furnishes the family time to reflect on the meaning of their loved one's life. I prompt the family's contemplations by reminding them, "This service is for you. You need the opportunity to remember your loved one. If you have stories or songs or scripture verses or poetry especially meaningful, then feel free to share them with me." I then meet with them and they share their reflections and remembrances. I rarely use all the material in the funeral service that a family offers. I frequently edit out inappropriate material, but often the families' stories of the deceased's life help shape the funeral sermon's natural contours.

Are all these session productive? They are in the sense of catharsis that surfaces when someone actually provides a grieving family permission to speak of their loved one out loud. This is one of the most helpful aspects of ministry-allowing people to talk about things that seem inordinately important to them. Listening without judgment is a wonderful gift to offer those who grieve. After all, listening has always be a cardinal virtue of pastoral care. Contemporary people who live in a culture that seems unable to listen well especially appreciate this time of remembrance. Often the things shared have no place in a public service, yet in the families' vocalizing these stories a careful and listening pastor aids the healing process. Too often well-meaning people do not allow the family of the deceased to actually talk about their loved one-often changing the subject out of fear of pain. This is a fundamental frustration to relatives in grief.

A second good reason for this time with family and friends is that it gives the pastor deeper insight into the deceased's personality. This information humanizes a funeral sermon beyond measure. As a younger pastor, I habitually feared that sharing family stories verbatim in the service might appear boring to the family. However, the reverse is true. Families regularly radiate joy when their words are spoken back in the manner that the pastor first heard them. Families appreciate a minister who not only took the time to visit with them about an important matter but also conscientiously listened. In doing this deep listening a pastor gives the deceased family a precious gift.