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Letting God Take Control

By Tori Rollins | Contributing Writer

I learned that I'm not in control--no matter how hard I try. Wow. You'd think I'd have learned that lesson a long time ago. Let's face it. We all try to hold on to the reins. I thought I had this pregnancy and delivery thing down to a science. What I learned was that my plans are just that--mine. God's plan will not be swayed by me no matter how hard I try. This delivery was my first c-section and I was very disappointed. I sat in my doctor's office with tears running down my face, certain that she was wrong in her diagnosis of the problems of delivering this baby. There could have been serious complications had I not followed the advice of my doctor. Learning that God has placed people like doctors in our lives to protect us was vital for me. Your problem may not be a tough delivery, but I'm sure that at least one time this week your plans were turned upside down by something unexpected. It could be as simple as a washer breaking down or as big as a medical emergency. Whatever it was, you found yourself sputtering and spinning in a circle, trying to figure out who took the reins out of your hands and ran the horse in another direction. Proverbs 16:9 tells us that plans are in the hearts of men, but the Lord determines our steps. I had to realize that God knows where I'm going, and although His plan may not be easy, it is divine and intended for my good.

I learned how much my children were capable of. The fruit of years of training made this time in my life so much easier. My older boys kept the house running smoothly and took care of the younger kids when I couldn't. Thinking of this still chokes me up. I don't want to take advantage of my kids or make them grow up too fast, but seeing their maturity manifest in learning to step up to the plate when it was necessary was so rewarding. As I started to feel better and take back more of the responsibility, I also enjoyed the genuine gratefulness from my family. They had a taste of everything it takes to keep our home running, and we all learned it works a whole lot better when we are a compete team.

Finally, I learned that the process of "schooling" is much more involved than just paper and pencils. I needed to sit back and realize that schooling in book subjects is only a small part of rearing my children. Running the house like a well-run machine is not what it takes to be successful. Life provides the best lessons, and if we stand in the way of those lessons with too much "business," then we miss so much. The kids got to see that my husband and I were just as excited for baby number five as we were about each of the others. When I look back at the conversations I had with my kids, I am excited that they grasped the value of home and family, as well as the importance of my boys being sympathetic to their own wives someday. My daughter learned that although it can be hard, motherhood is worth all of the pain. You can't learn that in a book. Through this time we have grown so much closer as a family. You can't find that in any book, either.

I don't know where you are or what you're going through. There are so many different struggles we can face. Illness, depression, difficult relationships, loneliness, and more can all challenge us. It doesn't matter what the situation: God loves you. He knows your weaknesses and strengths. If you truly want to serve Him and you're going through a tough time, He will provide the grace you need to get through it. He becomes the strength that you don't have. He provides compassion and tenderness that you didn't think were available. He will work in and through you in a way He couldn't when you were racing around being Superwoman. Let God take control, work hard at what you are called to do, and understand that His strength is made perfect in our weakness.


Tori is proud to be married to Major J Rollins who is currently serving with the Army in AfghanistanJ and Tori have five children and have homeschooled from the beginning.Tori enjoys music, playing the piano, scrapbooking and a good cup of coffee while visiting with a friend.

This article was originally published in the May/June '07 issue of Home School Enrichment Magazine, a national publication dedicated to encouraging and equipping Christian homeschoolers. For more information, visit 

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