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Here's a warning sticker you don't want to miss: it's a note attached to a heat gun that produces temperatures of 1,000 degrees, alerting the consumer not to use the gun as a hairdryer. According to a Jan. 6 AP story, that label also took the $500 first prize in the Wacky Warning Label Contest, conducted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch as part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels. The $250 second prize award went to a label on a kitchen knife that warns: "Never try to catch a falling knife." Third prize was for a cocktail napkin with a map of the waterways around Hilton Head Island, S.C.; printed on it was a caution: "Not to be used for navigation." An honorable mention went to a warning on a bottle of dried bobcat urine used to keep pests away from garden plants: "Not for human consumption." Maybe we need to add some warning labels around our churches: "Do not drive or use heavy equipment while listing to this sermon. May make user drowsy." I've been in a few churches that could use this warning label often attached to psychic service ads: "For entertainment purposes only." Personally, I'd prefer to see this one at church: "Warning. This service may be hazardous to your inflated ego." Michael
Duduit, Editor Click here to visit "I Was Just Thinking" for insights and observations about faith and culture issues. Recent topic: A radical in robes? Conference sites for 2006: If you'd be interested in hosting one of our "Preaching Truth in a Whatever World" one-day conferences in 2006, drop me a note at truth@preaching.com, and we'll send some information about what's involved. We are particularly seeking some sites in the western U.S.
A hunger for inwardness In the book For All the Saints: Evangelical Theology and Christian Spirituality (Westminster John Knox), there is an essay by Calvin Miller in which he writes, "After Francis de Sales was ordained into the priesthood in Geneva in 1593, he went to Chegle to reconvert Catholics who had become Calvinists. This was no easy job. For four years he worked at it -- ever trying to get Calvinists back into the Catholic Church. In him was born the agony of a man who was cast out into the streets, where he lived without much human support. He had few friends, but he learned that the most powerful thing he could know was the pleasure of obedience. Caught up in his appetite for God, he wrote:
As Miller observes, "This is the credo of all who hunger for inwardness. It is the covenant of all who treasure the wealth of the depths." (Click here to learn more about the book For All the Saints)
The sin of eisogesis Australian pastor Andrew Corbett writes, "Exegesis is the process of getting 'out' ('ex') of the text what is truly there in the first place. The opposite of exegesis is eisogesis. This is the process of putting 'into' the text something that wasn't intended by the author. . . . When a preacher has something to say and uses a Scripture text to say it, chances are he/she is about to commit the error of eisogesis. This is actually the wrong starting point for sound preaching. The bedfellow of eisogesis is allegorization. Allegorizing a Scriptural passage is fraught with hermeneutical problems. It might be argued that most preachers lack the hermeneutical skills to rightly divide the Word using allegorization. In some respects allegorization of a Bible text is almost a "blank cheque" for the preacher to make the Bible say whatever they want. Here is an alarming real life example of this from Dr. John MacArthur:
"I recently attended a pastors conference where the keynote speaker allegorized the story of Abraham in Genesis 15. Each of the vultures that swooped Abram's sacrifice were made to allegorically represent a challenge that Abraham and his successive generations faced. The first vulture that Abram faced according to this preacher was the 'vulture of barrenness.' Due to his inability to deal with this vulture, because of his lack of faith(!), he had to wait 25 years before he received the fulfillment of what God had promised. Needless to say I was staggered to hear this, but even more staggered to realize that most of my colleagues accepted what was being said! The next vulture that swooped was the 'vulture of famine' which tormented Isaac in Genesis 26. Then came Jacob's 'vulture of disappointment,' and so on. While the preacher actually had some good points throughout his message based on his own life experience, the Scriptures had been thoroughly morphed to fit into his sermon. "Eisogesis is at best unwise, and at worse really dangerous!" (http://www.andrewcorbett.net/leadership/preaching/exegesis01.html)
Are you wasting time? In the January 3 edition of the Dallas Seminary Daily Devotional, Chuck Swindoll writes, "Have you noticed how many day-planners are available these days? And then there are the time-management self-help books: how to increase your efficiency, how to make every moment count, how to invest your time wisely and productively. While all those voices and handy products scream for your attention, I'd like to play devil's advocate and tell you how to waste your time. Five proven ideas come immediately to mind: First, worry a lot. Start worrying early in the morning and intensify your anxiety as the day passes. Worry about your own failures and mistakes -- about what you should or could have done but didn't. To add variety, worry about things you should not have done but did. Hanging around negative people is another secret you won't want to forget. Remember: Potential ulcers need fresh acid. Second, make hard-and-fast predictions. Of course, you'll need to ignore that little throwaway line in the fourth chapter of James: "you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow." But forget that comment and set your expectations in motion. Be as specific as you can. For example, one month before his July 1975 disappearance, Jimmy Hoffa announced: "I don't need bodyguards." Third, fix your attention on getting rich. You'll get a lot of innovative ideas from the secular bookshelves. (I counted fourteen books on the subject last time I was in a bookstore.) Plus, you'll fit right in with most of the hype that's pouring out of entrepreneurial seminars and high-pressure sales meetings. Fourth, compare yourself with others. Not only will you ricochet between the extremes of arrogance and discouragement, you will also spend the time not knowing who you are. Fifth, lengthen your list of enemies. If there's one thing above all others that will keep your wheels spinning, it's perfecting your skill at the Blame Game. With a full arsenal of suspicion, paranoia, and resentment, you can waste endless evenings stewing over those folks who have made your life miserable. Put these five surefire suggestions in motion, and you can forget about all the hassles connected with being happy, efficient, productive, and contented. Within a couple of months, those things won't even be on your agenda. All this sounds like foolish exaggeration, doesn't it? But just stop and think: How much time are you already wasting on some of these things?" [The January-February issue of Preaching contains an interview with Swindoll. Click here to learn about subscribing.]
Ed
Young, Haddon Robinson, Calvin Miller and more A remarkable team of speakers will help you breathe new life and energy into your preaching ministry at the 2006 National Conference on Preaching, scheduled for April 24-26 at Fellowship Church in Grapevine, TX (suburban Dallas). "Preaching Creatively" is the theme of this year's event. In addition to the speakers named above, you'll enjoy insightful preachers and teachers like Dieter Zander, Jack Graham, Doug Pagitt, Steve Wende, Bryan L. Carter, David Allen, Timothy Warren, Leroy Armstrong, Jr., Ramesh Richard and many more. (Find a complete list at www.preaching.com/ncp.) You'll draw insights and encouragement from the theme-related addresses on preaching creatively, plus great sermons and many practical workshops. There will also be a track of workshops for ministry wives led by Sheila Bailey, wife of the late E.K. Bailey, long-time pastor of Concord Missionary Baptist Church in Dallas. Mark your calendar now to be part of the conference. Click here for additional information or to register (or call 800-288-9673). Register now and save $55 off the regular registration fee.
ILLUSTRATION: Church Rick Warren recently wrote, "Most people have no idea how many Christians there are in the world: More than 2 billion people claim to be followers of Jesus Christ. That's one-third of the world's population! The Church has about a billion more people than the entire nation of China. For example, about 100 million people in the United States went to church this past weekend. That's more people than will attend sporting events in the United States throughout this year. The Church is the largest force for good in the world. Nothing else even comes close. "The Church is everywhere in the world. There are villages that have little else, but they do have a church. You could visit millions of villages around the world that don't have a school, a clinic, a hospital, a fire department or a post office. They don't have any businesses. But they do have a church. The Church is more widely spread -- more widely distributed -- than any business franchise in the world. "Consider this: The Red Cross noted that 90 percent of the meals they served to victims of Hurricane Katrina were actually cooked by Southern Baptist churches. Many churches were able to jump into action faster than the government agencies or the Red Cross. Why? The Church is literally everywhere, and Christians who could provide help to the Gulf Coast communicated with Christians in need of help so relief could be sent immediately." (Click here to read the full article.) http://www.bpnews.net/bpcolumn.asp?ID=2089
ILLUSTRATION: Sin, Self-Will From the words of a Puritan prayer: I am
deeply convinced of the evil and misery of a sinful state,
ILLUSTRATION: Stress Comedienne Lilly Tomlin once said, "The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." Interestingly, the concept of stress was introduced in the 1930s when a young scientist named Hans Selye was observing his lab rats. As he worked in his laboratory, he was constantly dropping the little creatures, chasing them around the room, and trapping them in the corner. He discovered that his rats kept getting ulcers and hormone imbalances. Borrowing a term from engineering, Dr. Selye coined the idea of stress to describe how the pressures of daily life -- the rat race -- can make us sick. Psalm 119:143 in the New Living Translation says, "As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands." The best way of combating stress is to take the nearest exit, find a quiet spot, open the Bible, and enjoy fellowship with God in His Word. Make room for a silent night, a holy night when all is calm and all is bright. Stay close to the Christ child, and let Him bring you peace here on earth. (Turning Point Daily Devotional, 12-22-05)
ILLUSTRATION: Prayer, Productivity A heavy snowstorm closed the schools in one town. When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away from school constructively. "I sure did," one little girl replied. "I prayed for more snow."
ILLUSTRATION: Judgment A boy was swimming when he developed cramps, and cried out for help. A man heard his cry and saved him from drowning. Years later that same boy and some friends robbed a store and were arrested. When the young man appeared in court, he recognized the judge as the man who had saved him from drowning years earlier. The young man said, "Your honor, I remember you. You kept me from drowning." The judge replied, "Yes, I remember. Then I was your savior, but today I am your judge. Today Christ is your Savior. He wants to save you from sin, judgment, and hell. But failure to accept Christ as your Savior will mean facing His ultimate judgment. (Croft M. Pentz, Pentecostal Evangel, 3/14/93)
You
can take a day off but you can never put it back.
Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Trees ~ It's important to have roots. ~ In today's complex world, it pays to branch out. ~ Don't pine away over old flames. ~ If you really believe in something, don't be afraid to go out on a limb. ~ Be flexible so you don't break when a harsh wind blows. ~ Sometimes you have to shed your old bark in order to grow. ~ If you want to maintain accurate records, keep a log. ~ Grow where you're planted. ~ It's perfectly okay to be a late bloomer. ~ Avoid people who would like to cut you down. ~ Get all spruced up when you have a hot date. ~ If the party gets boring or dangerous, just leaf. ~ You can't hide your true colors as you approach the autumn of your life. ~ It's more important to be honest than poplar. (from Mikey's Funnies)
And finally . . . Jim Curtin is "all shook up." The Philadelphia man has spent thirty years collecting Elvis memorabilia, including concert suits, necklaces, cufflinks, belt buckles and more. But last weekend it was all auctioned off, after his girlfriend gave him an ultimatum: "You leave the Elvis clothes or I'll leave you." Auction organizers estimate that the 600 cartons of Elvis mementoes could bring a total of $2 million. Now he's singing a new Elvis tune: "Because of love."
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