PreachingNow

In an age of declining attention spans and busy lives, British churchman Martin Hinton has come up with a solution: a Bible you can read in 100 minutes.

The 100-Minute Bible, in the words of Hinton's website, "picks out the principle stories of the life and ministry of its central character, Jesus Christ. The social and theological context of these stories is provided by outlining the ups and downs of the history of his nation, the Jews. It then proceeds to record the story of the growth of Christianity during the first century; firstly amongst the Jews themselves; then amongst the other peoples living in Israel and then throughout the eastern Mediterranean, even as far as Rome."

Hinton adds, "The 100-Minute Bible is primarily intended for people who have an interest in Christianity but not the time (nor tenacity!) to read the whole Bible. As the title indicates most people will only take 100 minutes to read it, making it ideal for an upcoming rail or aeroplane journey." (Click here if you'd like to read a sample -- a brief sample)

In the spirit of The 100-Minute Bible, I thought of some other literary works that could be abridged for a modern, attention-deprived reader. Perhaps I should publish The 10-Second Classic, with such entries as:

Romeo and Juliet. New version: "Two crazy Italian kids from warring families fall in love, sneak off to get married, then die."

Don Quixote. "A crazy old Spanish guy tilts at windmills to right wrongs."

The Iliad. "Greeks fight Trojans because of a woman, then ride a wooden horse to victory."

Moby Dick. "Captain Ahab chases a great white whale to the ends of the sea. The whale wins."

There will not be an issue of PreachingNow next week. The next issue will be dated November 29.

Click here to visit "I Was Just Thinking" for insights and observations about faith and culture issues. Some recent topics: Staying the course in Iraq; Flying frustrations.

Correction: In last week's issue we included an illustration about the founding of Stanford University. Like many great illustrations, this one was too good to be true, as several readers shared with us. We often recommend Snopes.com to preachers; this time we should have checked it ourselves. See for yourself at http://www.snopes.com/glurge/stanford.htm

Tom Long's major book The Witness of Preaching (Westminster John Knox) has been released in a second edition, updated and expanded. In the last section of the book Long addresses a variety of questions asked by pastors and preachers, and one of those deals with the value of using a pulpit while preaching:

"As a piece of furniture, a pulpit can get in the way of communication. If it is too big, too high, or too remote, it can well hinder closeness and personal contact between the preacher and the hearers. Consequently, many preachers are leaving the pulpit behind and standing in the chancel or even moving around among the people as they preach.

"While this strategy can bring the preacher closer to the people and make communication more immediate, there are several issues the preacher should consider before deciding to step out from behind the pulpit, First, the pulpit is not just a stand for notes or a screen to hide the preacher's legs (although there is practical worth there); it is a symbol of the presence of the Word. To stand at the pulpit conveys an unspoken message, namely, "I am the temporary occupant of a venerable office to which I am committed and obedient." Most pastors would not administer the Lord's Supper away from the Table nor conduct baptism away from the pool or font, and we ought to consider the symbolic power of the pulpit.

"Second, preachers tend to overestimate the value of physical closeness to the people. As Garrison Keillor of Prairie Home Companion fame once quipped, 'A preacher is a person who engages in far more eye contact than people want.' We sometimes forget the symbolic power we carry when we are preaching, and what seems like welcome vulnerability and intimacy to us may come across to hearers as a frightening intrusion, intimidation, or a transgression of private space." (Click here to learn more about the book The Witness of Preaching)

What do you think? Send us a note at feedback@preaching.com and tell us what you think about the use of a pulpit. Is it valuable, or is preaching more effective without it? We'll pass along selected responses in a future issue of PreachingNow.

The Nov. 11 issue of Pastors Weekly Briefing reports that the Internal Revenue Service is threatening the tax-exempt status of All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, Calif., because its former rector, Rev. George F. Regas, criticized the war in Iraq and President Bush's tax cuts on the Sunday before the 2004 election. He said Bush's tax policies were "inimical to the values of Jesus."

Despite the fact that All Saints is one of the largest liberal churches in California, many conservative groups are critical of the IRS action. "It will chill free expression," said Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council. "We disagree with Rev. Regas' views, but we believe his right to offer those views -- from the pulpit -- is an essential part of American liberty."

Marcus Owens, the church's tax attorney, asserts, "It seems ludicrous to suggest that a pastor cannot preach about the value of promoting peace simply because the nation happens to be at war during an election season."

In their book Seven Practices of Effective Ministry (Multnomah), Andy Stanley, Reggie Joiner and Lane Jones remind us that we will get a greater return on our investment of time and energy by focusing on strengthening areas where we have the greatest potential for real excellence.

"The sobering truth is that many of us weaken our potential by investing too much time in the areas of our lives where we have the least potential. It seems logical. Even justifiable. After all, shouldn't we work hard at improving the areas in which we are weakest?

"Think about it. Does it make sense for ace pitcher John Smoltz to spend more time working on his hitting? His batting average is probably the area where he has the greatest potential for improvement. The problem is that hitting a baseball is not the area where he has the greatest potential to make an impact. The most important contribution that Smoltz makes to his team is his ability to pitch.

"If you really want to make a lasting impact, then you need to eliminate what you do well for the sake of what you can potentially do best." (Click here to learn more about the book Seven Practices of Effective Ministry)

Hundreds of pastors have already been part of one of our "Preaching Truth in a Whatever World" one-day conferences. There is still time to register for one of the two remaining conferences in Birmingham or Williamsburg. Location information is available on our website at www.preaching.com/truth.

Using the theme "Preaching Truth in a Whatever World," each event will feature presentations by Dr. Michael Duduit, editor of Preaching magazine and PreachingNow, and an array of outstanding guest speakers. Here are dates and areas for fall conferences (exact church location/address is at our website, www.preaching.com/truth):

Here's a comment by a pastor who attended the Philadelphia conference in October: "I thoroughly enjoyed the conference. I found it to be very informative, conducted very well and a blessing to my ministry." (Minister Jeff Hickson, New Gethsemane Baptist Church, Philadelphia, PA)

These conferences will offer insights into the unique preaching challenges of today, and will offer a toolbox of strategies and ideas for effective biblical preaching in today's "whatever" culture. Visit our information page (www.preaching.com/truth) for more information or to register.

Marguerite Shuster of Fuller Seminary writes, "Some of you mystery story fans may be familiar with Dorothy Sayers' novel Strong Poison. In the story, all the evidence pointed to the conclusion that defendant Harriet Vane had murdered her lover. Naturally, then, the prosecution argued that she must have done the deed. However, the protagonist, gentleman detective Lord Peter Wimsey, had fallen in love with Harriet Vane. He was certain that she had not done the deed. Morally certain, as we sometimes say, on the basis of what he thought he knew about her. Therefore, he reasoned, 'all the evidence in hand' could not possibly be all the evidence there was. There must be further evidence, which he determined to find. And which, of course, as in a proper mystery novel, he did, fully vindicating Harriet's honor.

"For those of us who love the Lord, what the Lord has done historically for his people -- delivering them from Egypt, sending his Son to save them -- is what makes us morally certain that the troubles we experience and see around us cannot be the only evidence there is of what God is like or of what this world and our lives will come to in the end. These great, pivotal events in the history of God's work on our behalf are normative for us. These events reveal to us what God is like, in both his goodness and his power. That's why we recount them again and again, throughout the cycle of the year. If they are lost to our consciousness, we are lost to despair." (from "Recollection")

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings each morning, thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes tightly closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank you Lord, that I can see. There are many who are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off the effort of rising, thank you, Lord that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, and tempers are short, thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced, thank you, Lord for the food we have. There are many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest, thank you, Lord, for the gift of life.
(Author unknown)

Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

"Certainly not," said the priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

When confession was over, the priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey. (from Sermon Fodder and Joke A Day Ministries; to subscribe drop a note to Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com)

A man is in bed with his wife when there is knocking on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock. It's half past three in the morning.

So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"No, get lost, it's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."

So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please!"

And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing." (from Mikey's Funnies)

"When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive." (Alan Paton)

ILLUSTRATION: Competition

A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices that one of the items for sale is a large parrot. He's always wanted a talking bird, so when it comes up for bid he offers $50.

The bidding becomes hot and heavy, with someone always bidding ten dollars more than he until the parrot is finally sold to him for $1,500.

When he goes to get the bird, he asks the auctioneer, "Can the bird talk?"

The auctioneer replied, "Who do you think was bidding against you?"

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." (Winston Churchill)

Signs You Ate Too Much at Thanksgiving

~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.

~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

~ The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.

~ You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

~ You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.

~ Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

~ That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.

~ Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your waterbed.

~ Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

~ Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard and delete this.

(From the Sermon Fodder list: http://www.sermonfodder.com)

And finally . . .

Money can make people do very foolish things.

A recent example: Nou Chang, a 52-year-old Minneapolis grocery-store owner, was approached by a young man who claimed to have a potion that turned white paper into U.S. currency. Franklin Forlemu allegedly came to Chang's store, placed slips of blank white paper between some $20 bills, then slipped on a breathing mask and poured his special potion over the money. It appeared to the grocer that the plain paper had turned into $20 bills.

Forlemu offered to help Chang change more money, and the grocer provided him with $70,000 in $100 bills. According to a report in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, "He watched Forlemu put the blank slips between them and pour the solution on the stack, then wrap the wad in tinfoil and pour on more. Forlemu said the money and paper must be sealed for three hours before opening the windfall. But when Chang finally unwrapped the tinfoil stack, he found nothing but white paper."

Chang called police, who arrested Forlemu and found $76,000 in $100 bills hidden in the apartment. According to police, the "mystery potion" was water, and Forlemu used "sleight-of-hand to make it look like the paper slips turned into cash."

Bryan Lindberg, an Anoka County prosecutor for 20 years, said the scam "is the most creative one I have seen."

One more foolish action took place in connection with the scam: Formelu, an illegal immigrant from Africa, was released on personal recognizance. (Click here to read the full story)

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/1107weird-scam07-ON.html

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